Keith To's Ideas & Thoughts on NLP, Hypnosis, Coaching, Facilitation, Self Improvement, Personal and Business Development. These seem to be nothing related. But from a Systemic Thinking perspective, they share similar nature and processes.
陶兆輝對身心語言程序學、催眠治療學、教練學、輔引學、自我改進、個人發展及商業發展的純個人看法;它們看似毫不相關,但當你從合整式思維角度來看,它們卻擁有相近的性質及過程;我將每隔數天不斷加入新的文章, 內容絕不敢認為是肯定正確, 旨在拋磚引玉而矣。
(All articles copyrighted by Keith To)
Monday, December 31, 2007
Personal Development: 想、做、思想
這應是我2007年最後一篇文章,亦是我給大家的2008年新年禮物!
如果你想得到更多,就問問自己:
如果你是一個只想不太做的人,多做一點吧!
如果你是一個只做不太想的人,多思想一點吧!
想,就只是胡思亂想、希望、盼望、鑽牛角尖;思想,就是有因有果地去想、有始有終地去想、有計劃、有系統地去想。
問問自己你只是在『想』還是『思想』?
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Friday, December 28, 2007
系統式思維基本之四:欠了什麼? Part 4 - 永遠也有更多的可能性
上回提到同學們看錯了的原因有二,即時有讀者反應原因怎可能只得兩個,真令小弟老懷安慰;現實世界可能的原因又豈可只得兩個,二十個、二百個、二千個也有可能,這正是Systemic Thinking基本之四-更多可能性!
Systemic Thinking是研究人事物與人事物之間的關係,二個人事物就有三個關係(兩個自己與自己、自己與另-個人事物),三個人事物便至少有十三個關係(自己算一算吧!),四個人事物之間的關係已經多得不懂算了。
每一個關係均可導致一個或以上的可能性,所以,永遠也有更多的可能性!
能看出多少可能性則決定了我們能處理多複雜的系統,但請記著,現今世界的系統是能有多複雜就有多複雜!
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Facilitation: Mini Meetings
Everybody knows that meetings waste time. But everybody is having meetings everyday.
What can we do about it?
The original intention of meetings is to get things done. So focus on the things to be done is a straight-forward way of doing meetings.
Many international corporations like Ritz Carlton and Capital One are holding mini-meetings everyday. Some companies allow each of their people to state their most important job of the day in less than 15 seconds. Others request their staff to tell their colleagues, within one minute, their tasks today and how these tasks are related to their and the company's objectives.
If you can, try these mini-meetings to save time and get more things done!
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
BTW, this is my 400th article!!!
_
Personal Development: A Dialogue of 固執與堅定
早陣子刊登的文章:固執與堅定,得到了讀者little angel的多篇回應,再回看與她的對話,甚覺有趣,而我亦從中得益良多,故輯錄刊登如下,與眾人分享(在此再向little angel致謝):
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Keith: 不知原因仍堅持是固執,知原因而堅持是堅定。
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little angel: 就算知道原因而堅持是堅定,但世界在變,日子久了,但仍然對這個原因堅定不移,那會否變為是固執?
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Keith: 不用日子久了,世界變化速度足令我們的看法必須不停地更新。
堅定不移並不指永不改變,堅定不移是堅信自己的看法而矣,不移不是永遠不變,否則與固執有何分別?
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little angel: 當然堅定不移並不指永不改變。我並沒有說是不變。
但如果固執- 是指固定的執著/執取 "某事或物或某想法",那麼就算世界在變,看法不停地更新,但仍然只是固定的執著/執取自己的看法而矣。
既然有一想法可以讓你堅持而堅定下去,那可會沒有固定的原因?! 固執與堅定的分別真的在於有原因及沒原因嗎? 隱藏在兩者背後的因真的有分別?
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Keith: 『既然有一想法可以讓你堅持而堅定下去,那可會沒有固定的原因?! 』
沒有原因而堅持的人,世上不是很多嗎?當你問一個人為什麼他相信某事,他又講不上原因,我們就認為他是固執;但當他能談論他的原因時,我們就會覺得他是一個堅定的人!不是嗎?
你是否認為固執與堅定的分別,不只在有否原因?
如你相信這樣的話,原因在那呢?
站遠一點來看(就是NLP所謂的Meta)...
當你這樣問的時候,會否認為堅定比固執優勝呢?
堅定與固執表面是相當接近的,堅定與固執的信念也可以是對的,亦可以是錯的,分別只在堅定與固執背後有否原因,如沒有原因,堅定的是什麼?
堅定是基於某個原因,固執是執於某個結論!
堅定的人與人爭論其結論時,能以道理提出論點,因其結論背後有著原因;固執的人與人爭論其結論時,就很多時沒有道理可言,沒話可說時,最後可能會拋出一句:我就是認為是這樣!
堅定的人發現了更有道理的原因時,他們很多時都會改變的,因為他們的著眼點在於原因,而非結論,這就是堅定的人並不會不與時並進的原因!
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little angel: 我同意世上有很多看似相同或不相的同人。
我也同意人們會認為「能道出原因是堅定,不能道出原因是固執」。但很多時人們評論這個人是堅定或固執只是基於那原因對聽者是否合情合理。
我也同意你的說法,「固執的人較容易會拋出一句:我就是認為是這樣」。這可會因為他們覺得他的論點不被接納?!
我不能道出那一種較優勝。 只怕是程度上的不同吧!
至於你說的原因及結論,我同意你的說法,堅定的人會有較大的接受能力去作出更新。 固執的人可能只是更新的程度較慢或不明顯。 既然兩者都是因為有原因而生的,那便有一個著眼點。那兩者可會分別只在於他們能否看到著眼點以外的地方吧!
再者既然說 「堅定的人與人爭論其結論時,能以道理提出論點,因其結論背後有著原因」- 那早已有了原因及論點去作結論啦!
當你這樣回應時, 會否認兩者是有分別或沒分別?
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Keith: 兩者當然有分別,否則為何談了這麼久?
我提出的目的,是提醒自己別先相信自己的看法,問問自己相信的原因,認為合理才好相信!
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little angel: 那我們可否說: 聽者相信那原因是合理便是堅定! 相信不合理的原因便是固執!
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Keith: 堅定或固執,又怎會與『聽者相信那原因是合理便是堅定! 相信不合理的原因便是固執!』有關呢?
堅定或固執,不是聽者引致的,說者有其原因而堅持是堅定,沒其原因則只是固執而矣!
*****************
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
系統式思維基本之三 - 欠了什麼? Part 3 - 自知即是知道自己內裡有多少
Part 1談到未能引來大批少、中、熟女左擁右抱,有朋友竟然回應說他看到在課堂中,有好幾位女同學凝望著我,究其原因,只得兩個,一是他看錯了,二是那幾位女同學是留心聽課而矣!
不是小弟自謙,更不是小弟自卑,只是小弟自知。
說回Systemic Thinking,自卑和自大,均是活在自己系統之內,前者自覺內裡太小,後者則覺極大;而自知及以自知為基礎的自謙則看到自己系統的邊界,進而能看到系統之外,當然小弟沒有那種自謙的修養,但自知之明還是有一點!
自知也就是Systemic Thinking基本之三,自知即是知道自己內裡有多少,Systemic Thinking是從整體去看世界的整體,而看世界必須站在某一位置去看,自己的位置也弄錯,怎樣看也不會看得正確!
為什麼知道自己內裡有多少,因為自己在做來引證自己看到的自己,這叫自知。
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Monday, December 24, 2007
我的觀點: 2007年反智事件回顧
一年將盡,各大傳媒的大事回顧陸續出台,我亦不甘後人,推出2007年反智事件回顧,重溫我們的反智行徑:(排名不分先後)
1. 書展中『愛情神話』一書封面的『賽姬接受丘比特的初吻』古典油畫被影視處人員『勸喻』收起。
2. Times Square門前黃永玉的阿當夏娃雕塑被多位市民投訴不雅。
3. 動漫節排頭位年青人因遺失門票遭『實Q』驅趕,發生推撞糾纏,其後對傳媒稱『實Q』行徑反智;無票入場反稱他人反智實屬十分反智。
4. 中大學生報情色事件各界處理手法。
5. 17歲少年因被追討综援兩萬元雙料自殺,各界只歸疚當局冷血,但事件發生前又只責駡政府濫發综援。
6. 互聯網上選『新世界七大奇蹟』,人多必勝,『長城』可以不勝嗎?
7. 立法會補選,葉太數年前才遭50萬人上街喝駡,過去數年並未做過什麼『將功補過』之舉,但仍以高票落敗,雖敗猶榮,奇怪奇怪!
8. 初中可以不教中國歷史!
9. 特首當選,上京任命時,被勉勵需『死而後已』,但他之前只是說要打好呢份工,打工也要『死而後已』?
10. 我們(當然包括小弟)每日沒想清楚但在做的事!
願新的一年,我們也能不再經一事,反一智!
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Sunday, December 23, 2007
系統式思維基本之二 - 欠了什麼? Part 2 - 在自己的系統中運作
上回提到偶然發現自己雖年紀一把,還未有脫髮現象、又沒有挻著大肚子、更沒有諸位阿叔的『阿叔』風格,理應屬風度翩翩,但卻未能引來大批少、中、熟女左擁右抱,原因在於肯定還有其他我仍未能察覺的原因存在,而Systemic Thinking的基本,就是要看到未能察覺的。
但細心再度分析,還未有脫髮現象,其實可能只是自己仍未發現而矣;沒有挻著大肚子,亦只是自己不覺那條『小』車呔早已是一級方程式特大碼輪胎;沒有諸位阿叔的『阿叔』風格,也只是大家標準不同,其實在他人眼中,實在『阿叔』得令人不忍目睹。
從自己角度看世事,等若永遠在自己的系統中運作,無法與真實世界接軋,這亦是Systemic Thinking基本之二。
我常說的Explore, Exceed & Excel,即是要Explore外在真實世界,就必須Exceed自己的系統邊界,才能達成Excel的目的。
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Announcement: Keith To's Projects - An Interesting New Website
I designed a X'mas gift for myself.
It is a new webpage listing nearly all my past, present and future projects, together with all the colourful logos. There are nearly 100 projects!
Go to http://www.keithto.name to have a look. You will like it if you like my programs.
Check how many programs have you already done!
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Facilitation: 12 Principles of Process Facilitation - Principle 2: Opening
This is Part 2 of the 12 Principles of Process Facilitation.
Opening is how we start facilitating a session. A good start is a good session!
A good session is a session where participants involved and participated actively. To ensure maximum participation, everybody must understand why they meet and what are expected from them. The greatest assumption is that they already know the reasons and the expectations!
So, as a facilitator, you must help your participants to answer 3 questions:
1. Why they meet?
2. What are going to be discussed?
3. How will the discussion be done?
Don't start anything before these questions are fully answered.
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Hypnosis: 我的最後一次催眠表演
今天我在Master Hypnotherapist課程中表演了應是我的最後一次催眠表演!
昨天收到了一位催眠同學的電郵,詢問了有關催眠表演的問題,令我體會到可能很多同學會誤解催眠表演是很難及很神秘,故破了12年不作催眠表演的原則,目的只是希望示範催眠表演既不困難,也不神秘。
今天晚上,在多位同學面前獻醜,於一秒內即可令人進入中度催眠狀態(已出現眼球急速轉動),及示範了全身僵硬睡於兩椅之間,醒來後卻又忘記之前的過程。
我想表達的是,催眠表演既不困難,也不神秘,任何一位催眠治療師也能做到,但如想以催眠助人,催眠表演卻是一點幫助也沒有,亦不要浪費時間精力於此!
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
系統式思維基本之一 - 欠了什麼? Part 1 - 肯定還有其他起因、因素或影響存在
經常在課堂上談到Systemic Thinking,卻很少在文章中論及,在此鬧著玩地寫上一篇。
今天乘搭地鐵,環顧四週,將自己與一眾同齡男士比併一下,發現自己雖年紀一把(縱使從不認老!),還未有脫髮現象(touch wood!)、又沒有挻著大肚子、更沒有諸位阿叔的『阿叔』風格,理應屬風度翩翩(一笑!),引來大批少、中、熟女左擁右抱才對,但不幸地一點也沒有,豈不奇怪也哉?
肯定還有其他起因、因素或影響存在,但我仍未能察覺,這就是Systemic Thinking的基本-所有事情均有起因,惟起因卻可錯縱複雜,互相糾纏不清,看不出就胡說天意弄人,實質自己目光如豆,也正是小弟常說的『看比做重要,看多比看準重要!』
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Friday, December 21, 2007
我的觀點:最近四篇我的觀點極短篇
最近寫了四篇的『我的觀點極短篇』,你會發現幾個很有意思的現象:
1. 越短的文章,大家發表意見越多。
2. 文章中如提出兩個接近但不同的觀點(如:固執與堅定),或兩個相反的觀點(如: 『悟』中的向內與向外),大家發表意見越多。
3. 文章中的觀點如不直接明確,基本沒有意見發表(如: 領導與做人)。
4. 文章中的觀點表面看似熟悉,基本沒有意見發表(如: 繼續成功 )。
究竟是什麼導致上述現象的呢?這又與個人發展、Coaching及Facilitation又有沒有關係呢?
1. 越短的文章,讓大家思維的空間越大,大家發表意見當然越多;我們又會否給予客戶空間去思考呢?
2. 這就是我經常在教練課程中提及『分野』的效果!善用『分野』來令你的客戶處於思維的狀態。
3. 如不直接明確,誰會去冒險?我們的問題,又會否含糊抽象呢?
4. 相似的事物,基本上不能進入我們的大腦 (記得RAS嗎?),不能進入大腦,又怎能有什麼意見?你的問題,能刺激客戶的思維嗎?(如不明白,『仲有呢?』正是一條既簡單,但又能刺激客戶的思維的問題)
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Hypnosis: 催眠表演與催眠治療
今天有一位催眠班的同學電郵給我,告訴我她看了一些由某位催眠治療師的一些令人驚奇的示範,有點不太明白,故詢問我的看法。
這些示範包括受者躺於兩張椅子之間『睡』著、打開眼寫字但清醒後忘記等等,現把我的回覆轉錄如下,一起分享:
這只是一些很基本的催眠表演,當受者進入深度催眠狀態時,給予適當的暗示,他便能做出奇怪的行徑,如先給他暗示忘記過程,醒後也能忘記得一干二淨。( 更奇怪的可看拉斯維加斯多家酒店內的催眠表演)
問題是: 這能幫助病者嗎? 這些是很好看的表演,但卻不能幫助病者解決他們的問題。
當我初學催眠時,我也被這些表演著迷,但學會以後,卻突然醒覺,這些對一個催眠治療師一點助益也沒有,無論你能令對方躺於兩張椅子之間『睡』著多久、或令對方打開眼寫字但清醒後忘記多少次,你也不能助他解決他的問題!從此,我再也不浪費時間於催眠表演中!
更有同學問我,在電視看到魔術師催眠人後,那些人能凌空浮起,但那是魔術,不是催眠啊!
催眠表演跟催眠治療是兩個絕不相等的技術,催眠表演好看,催眠治療沉悶,催眠表演帶來震驚的效果,催眠治療卻為著治療的目的。
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Personal Development: Goals 2008
Only several days left before we go into a new year, 2008!
Have you already designed your goals for 2008? Goals are really optional. You can live a good, successful life without any goals. But it can be a good option, especially if you are not 100% happy with now.
I am finalizing my goals for 2008. To share, here are some of my ideas of Goals 2008:
1. Complete the outline of my grand program of 2009.
2. Gain 1,000 more subscribers of the Excel Your Life Newsletter.
3. Explore 2 places in the world that I have never been before.
4. More time with my family, especially my dad and mom.
5. 200 more articles for the Ideas & Thoughts of Keith To.
6. One new book!
7. and more to come...
BTW, this message is my 389th message in this blog. I am making a new goal today to make it to 400 by the end of 2007!
Design your Goals 2008 and have a great year(s) ahead!
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Personal Development: Miserable Job?
Recently I read a book, The Three Signs of a Miserable Job, by Patrick Lencioni. In the book, he stated 3 signs of a miserable job. Are you having one?
1. Anonymity. You are nobody in the company. Nobody, even your boss has any interest in you.
2. Irrelevance. You job affects nobody. Nothing on colleagues, boss and clients.
3. Immeasurement. You can't tell by yourself whether you are doing a good job or not. If your boss don't say a word, you know nothing about your own performance.
Unluckily, if you are having such kind of job, do yourself a favour - Change Something or change your job!
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Coaching: WABC Roundtable Meetings
I'm frequently hearing people from all around the world stating that there are far more coaches nowadays than coachees. This is good news; it means our industry and competition are thriving! This is good for the marketplace. It also means quality programs are needed to ensure coaches are getting the right training.
Unlike many other forms of helping, business coaching benefits the coach even more than it does the clients. When you try to help others to discover more about themselves, you actually discover even more about yourself.
I'm excited to offer these meetings (Roundtable Meetings) and plan to do so for many years to come. It's important to me that as many people as possible know about the value of both WABC and business coaching.
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Originally appeared in: WABC News Dec 2007
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Business Development: Why They Exist There?
Why it is usually the one who's supposed to please you upset you?
Why is someone you paid him for pleasing you usually upset you?
Because they forget something important - Why they exist there?
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Concepts 101 Part 18: Not Thinking
Everybody thinks that they think. Not really!
Just see how fast we react to the environment's stimulus, to what others act and say, we do not really "think"".
Physiologically speaking, our brain uses most of our energy. To preserve ourselves, we conserve energy by not fully using the brain most of the time.
But from a view point of neuroscience, we do not use it, we lose it. It is our brains!
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Friday, December 14, 2007
Personal Development: Typing Mistake
I always have one typing mistake, again and again.
It should be a bad thing, but I love it!
Why?
Because I always wrongly type "Can't" into "Can"!
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Learning from Life 161 - 165
This is another edition of Learning from Life.
161. You can't find answer without a question.
162. You will and must have time for things you really want to do!
163. You can enjoy what you hated.
164. The world doesn't change much and fast!
165. But the people changes much and fast!
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Concepts Behind My Programs: Holistic Hypnotherapy & Trance-Formation
Holistic Hypnotherapy & Trance-Formation is one of the modules of the Certified Hypnotherapist Program.
Its very core idea is seeing more to see what something really is. Behind this program, there are 3 concepts:
1. Whole is more than Parts. Once you realize such, this opens up so many more locations to intervene. This in turn creates Choices and thus Flexibility.
2. Everything exists with a Purpose. When the Purpose changes, it changed. When the Purpose does not need to exist, it vanished.
3. When one knows what Trance really is, one do not need Induction to induce Trance. When one know what something really is, one do not need the "Proper" Procedure!
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Personal Development: 4篇我的觀點極短篇
抽離一點來看最近四篇的『我的觀點極短篇』,你會發現幾個很有意思的現象:
1. 越短的文章,大家發表意見越多。
2. 文章中如提出兩個接近但不同的觀點(如:固執與堅定),或兩個相反的觀點(如: 『悟』中的向內與向外),大家發表意見越多。
3. 文章中的觀點如不直接明確,基本沒有意見發表(如: 領導與做人)。
4. 文章中的觀點表面看似熟悉,基本沒有意見發表(如: 繼續成功 )。
你認為是什麼導致上述現象的呢? 這又與個人發展、Coaching及Facilitation又有沒有關係呢?
等待你的意見。
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
我的觀點極短篇: 你有沒有發現過去四篇『我的觀點極短篇』是有關聯的呢?
你有沒有發現過去四篇『我的觀點極短篇』是有關聯的呢?
註: 過去四篇就是: 悟、固執與堅定、領導與做人、繼續成功
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Monday, December 10, 2007
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Customer Service: Proving Your Customer is Wrong!
Proving your customer is wrong is WRONG!
It is even worse than proving yourself is right (as I mentioned in my previous article: 贏得顧客,還是講贏顧客?)
Going back to my story of the Internet shopping in my last article. I emailed the seller telling them I had wasted 30 minutes in processing the transactions but failed again and again.
In their reply, they told me that I had just used 12 minutes and 17 seconds only and asked me to stay with facts before getting upset! They are absolutely right because they must have a record. But what's the point to prove your customer being wrong?
The only outcome for such proof is that they lost an US$168 transaction and lost me as their customer forever!
A typical Loss-Loss scenario!
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Customer Service: Check Your Side Before Blaming Your Customers
Today, I encountered another bad customer service experience.
I want to buy something over the Internet. But their system declined my credit card for 10 times! I used both of my 2 credit cards but unsuccessful. So I emailed the seller and request them to check and help.
They replied. But they are not trying to solve my problem. They ask me to check my own credit status because their system declined my credit cards and they attached their report as proof!
I checked my bank immediately and my credit cards are in perfect condition. (I am a person of credibility!) The banks had even approved all those 10 transactions. So the problem is not on my side.
Nowadays, many sellers seem to enjoy blaming their customers but not to check whether the sources of the problems are on their own side.
This will just turn away your customers!
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Concepts 101 Part 17: Truth
The Truth is NOT Real! The Truth is NOT the Reality!
The Reality is what really happened and/or happening in the Outer World. The Truth is what one thinks is really happened and/or happening outside.
In a narrow sense, Truth is something in agreement with the Reality. So Truth is not Reality. According to ancient Greek's philosophers, Truth is the accurate representation of the Reality. Therefore, one's thought is a Truth when it accurately describes the Reality.
Truth is just a thought!
In NLP, a Truth is part of our Inner World of Thoughts that is very "near" to the Reality. This is only possible when our Filters of Beliefs, Values and Rules are in agreement with the Reality.
Verify our Filters in order to get more Truths.
中文翻譯:
真相不是真實的!真相也不是現實!
現實是外部世界真正已發生,或正在發生的事情;真相是人們認為什麼在外界真正已發生,或正在發生的事情。
狹義上講,真相是與現實相符合的,所以真相本身並非現實。根據古希臘哲學家的說法,真相是現實的準確表達,因此,當一個人的想法,準確地描述著現實時,那個想法便是一個真相。
真相只是一個想法!
在 NLP 中,真相是我們內心世界中,與現實世界非常接近的那一部分;而只有當我們的信念,價值觀和規則等濾網符合現實時,這才會可能。
驗證我們的濾網,才能獲得更多的真相。
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Concepts 101 Part 16: Reality
What you think about the Reality is NOT the Reality. It is just your Thought!
The Reality is EVERYTHING happened and happening in the Outer World. So, no one really knows the Reality (except God or Buddha).
The more information we get from and about the Reality, the nearer are our thoughts, and then our actions to the Reality.
The very basic concept of NLP is "The Map is not the Territory". What we perceived and think is our Map only. It is just our representation of the Reality. Some maps are more precise than the other maps. Some thoughts are also more precise than the other thoughts. But none of them are the Territory/Reality.
Don't argue and don't insist on anything. Rather, get more information to prove!
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Concepts 101 Part 15: Dreams 夢想
Dreams are what you really want but which are quite impossible or feasible at the present moment. So, Dreams are never "Practical". However, Dreams enlighten our lives by telling us our real direction. It makes people to be great.
Making Dreams practical is the Purpose of our lives. Our Purposes turn Dreams into possibilities. Our Goals transform our Dreams into practical outcomes.
Dream!
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Concepts 101 Part 14: Purposes
Purposes are your ultimate Goals. Don't be frightened by the world, Ultimate. This is just the fundamental reason of what you want. This is also where all your meaningful goals leading to.
If you are clear about your purposes, you can then set your meaningful goals, which keep you on track toward your purposes. You will not waste a single bit of time and effort in wanting and doing something that doesn't match your purposes. It also guides your decisions. Purposes give you meanings to your work and your life!
In turn, your purposes point to your Dreams.
When you really love doing something, and when you find something really meaningful, ask yourself what does that leading you to. That's your Purpose. You can have different purposes in different areas of your life.
Explore your Purposes. When you Exceed them, you reach your Dreams and you then really Excel.
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Monday, December 03, 2007
Customer Service: 還是要換!
還是繼續上兩回的故事...
很多人可能不太明白為什麼那又不是什麼貴價貨品,我卻要浪費時間去取回公道,喋喋不休?
這和我教授SGS的ISQMP國際顧客服務品質管理師課程,及從事協助企業團體取得QualiCert認證的工作有著相同的目的 - 香港既要以旅遊業作為重點經濟支柱之一,顧客服務就必須做到國際水平,否則旅客為什麼來香港?
香港既沒有名山大川,又已把大量稍有點歷史性的建築物也拆卸改建新廈大樓;特別是內地同胞,來香港不為購物,為了什麼?
說回故事,於顧客服務熱線投訴不果,還惹來一肚子氣,以我的堅持習慣,我又怎會放棄,遂堅持要與其上司對話,陳述我的立場,最後他們還不是要安排退換。(但可能他們私下已把我罵得體無完膚!)
試看看,浪費了顧客及她們自己三位同事(分店、熱線及上司)的時間,又令顧客不滿,何況可能還有不少顧客在分店中獲知不能退換,卻沒有投訴,但已默默決定永不再度幫襯,還會好心地警告他們的親朋好友小心這家商號。
請問,輸家是誰?
她們的高級管理人員,可能永遠不知道在她們的分店及用來提昇服務水平的顧客服務部中,每天正在上演這樣損人害己的鬧劇!
但他們卻在疑惑,為什麼花了這麼多的投資於推廣活動中,效果仍不理想?
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Customer Service: 贏得顧客,還是講贏顧客?
繼續之前的故事...
買了有問題東西,卻不能換,心中不快,致電顧客服務熱線,得來的是更大的不快!不知你有沒有發現,最沒有顧客服務的,很多時就是顧客服務部門的同事!
他們可能也很難做,每天照顧的就是有不滿的客人,對方當然不會十分客氣,兼且為免說錯,引來公司損失,每每重申著他們的『合理』條款或安排,但如果你是合理,而顧客卻在投訴,這即是意味著誰不合理呢?!
問問自己吧:你的任務是贏得顧客,還是講贏顧客?
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Customer Service: 貨物出門,恕不退換
你會否接受賣方上述的藉口嗎?
相信很多人會異口同聲地說:不!
但香港現在仍有不少的零售業者以這樣的句語印在收據上或張貼於店內作為保護自己,但卻剝削顧客的擋箭牌,就算不談顧客服務,根據香港法例,只要貨品有問題,或購買過程中賣方的書面或口頭內容有失實陳述(Misrepresentation),賣方的『貨物出門,恕不退換』免責條款已經無效。
我最近在一家知名零售商中買了點東西,回家後發現貨品並非如售貨員所述一樣,回去退換,但得來的竟是不能退換,致電其顧客服務熱線,更稱收據上已註明『貨物出門,恕不退換』云,這是什麼樣的顧客服務?
親愛的香港服務業界,要維護香港『購物天堂』的美譽,盡點力吧!
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
註:本文並非法律意見,詳情請查詢相關法律專業人士
NLP: 2 Matrix in Your Mind
The Trilogy of the Matrix Movies provides us a great insight: We are all living in a Matrix. It is NOT Real!
It is not "We" controlling ourselves but our Matrix of Thoughts controlling us! A Matrix causes us confusion as there are layers and layers of stuff there interlinking and interacting.
Even worse, there are more than ONE Matrix in our Mind. There are 2 Matrix there!
1. The Matrix of our Thoughts & Feelings. That's our Inner World (腦內世界). Our thoughts and feelings are the distorted, deleted and generalized version of the Outer World of Reality, i.e. they are not reality.
Furthermore, we do not just think or feel. We think our thoughts, we feel our feelings, we think our feelings and we feel our thoughts and which in turn creating even more unreal thoughts and feelings! It is a Matrix!
2. The Matrix of our Beliefs, Values & Rules (our Filters). It is our Filters that distort, delete and generalize the Outer World of Reality into our Inner World of Unreal Thoughts and Feelings.
Individual Belief, Value, & Rule do not exists independently. They influence each others to create even more Filters. Our Values influence our selection of Beliefs and Rules under different situations. They also create our Beliefs and Rules. Our Beliefs and Rules interacts to form more Beliefs and Rules.
Furthermore, our Beliefs and Rules interpret the Reality to form Experience, which in turn alters existing or create new Beliefs and Rules. They also affect our States, which influence our selection of Beliefs and Rules to apply.
This complex system of Filters distorts, deletes and generalizes our Matrix of Thoughts & Feelings to a even greater extent. It is a Matrix!
The whole idea of NLP is to Catch our Matrix. Identity them, verify them and change them consciously in order to make ourselves Living Consciously!
To catch our Matrix, we need to stand above and beyond them, or we are living unconsciously inside our own Matrix!
That is the ultimate meaning of "Meta"!
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
NLP: Options and Choices
One of the most important NLP Presuppositions is: the more choices you have, the more successful you can be.
But what is Choice?
Choices are not something that offered by the Outer World. They are just Options. When you understand what are really happening outside and how things happen, you can create your own Choices.
Options are Outside and Choices are Inside your mind! Understanding is the process of making your Inner World of your Thoughts and Feelings "nearer" to the Outer World of Reality.
In the Movie, the Matrix, Oracle once said: You can't see beyond your choices that you don't understand.
The more Options you have, you become confused. The more Choices you have, you become flexible!
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
My Point of View: 取捨
在家裡工作室的桌面電腦壞了,特地走訪電腦廣場,本想重購一台,但想深一點,現在還買桌面電腦?
複雜的配置、困難的維修,沒有機動性,這全都是不買的原因。
相宜的價格、具擴充性、可配合大Monitor令自己看得更舒適,這全都是要買的原因。
不知如何取捨之際,猛然發現自己正在考慮一大堆不是重點的因素,那當然難於決定;重點在於我家工作桌只有丁方四呎,每天工作時必須左閃右避,那還考慮什麼?
找不著重點,只會盲目亂想,不斷拖延!
最後買了一台17吋屏幕的手提電腦。
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Concepts 101 Part 13: Goal
There are 3 kinds of "Wants", i.e. Goals, Purposes and Dreams.
All 3 are essential as Success is defined as getting what you want. If you don't know what you want, success will never come, no matter how eager and hardworking you are!
Let's start with Goal.
Many people know about SMART Goals. SMART Goals are Specific (i.e. What), Measurable (i.e. What), Achievable (i.e. How), Realistic (i.e. How) and Timed (i.e. When).
But there is no Non-SMART Goal! If it is a goal, it must be SMART, or it is a Purpose or a Dream. If you do not know the "What", "How" and "When" of what you want, how can it be a goal?
It is very OK to dream. But one must then work it into Purpose and then Goals in order to actualize your Dreams.
Dreams can be of any time-frame. It can be as short-termed as an hour, mid-termed as months or years, or as long-termed as decades. But in today's ever-changing world, long-termed goals can be quite meaningless.
Dreams are your destinations while Goals are your landmarks to your Dreams.
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Announcement: Exam Results of RCC 2007
There are 58 classmates attending this year's Registered Corporate Coach Program of the Worldwide Association of Business Coaches.
The passing rate is as high as 97% this year - a Great Class!!!
What makes me feeling more than happy is that there are 20 classmates scoring 100% in their examination, i.e. 34%.
Below please find a list of classmates who score 100%.
Chan Suk Yin
Arvin Chan
Elvin Kan
Kwong Suet Hing
Lam Yan Yee
Lee Ka Fai
Leung Yin Ming
Li Wah Ling
Maria So
Pun Kam Chung
She King Chi
Tse Pui Hong
Eliza Wong
Winnie Wong
Wong Wai Yue
Yiu Yau Ning
Chan Mei Wah
Tsui Lou Yee
Kwan Chi Ning
Lau Chun Kok
Congratulation to all of you. HKPC will inform you the result very soon. (once I check all your assignments)
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Top 5 Tips: Top 5 Tips to Facilitate Creativity from Groups
You need and want to have creativity from your team because you can't expect new ideas just from yourself. Collective intelligence is much better than a single mind.
1. Focus on Possibilities. Never focus on your problems and barriers. They are important but they won't lead you to any new ideas.
2. Encourage, not Push. People opens their mind when they feel secure and safe. Don't push.
3. Appreciate Others' Contributions. No matter how useless the idea is, appreciate others' effort in producing it and voicing it out. This motivates others to create more!
4. Suspend your Judgments. All good ideas at their initial stage will not look great. Some are insane and some are impractical. It is our job to make them sensible and practical afterward.
5. Make it Fun for Everybody! Don't be too serious. An environment with fun encourages people to create more.
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
我的觀點極短篇: 原創難求
原創難求!
為何難求?在於低成本抄襲及誤解了分享。
當只需抄襲、無需自行思維,為什麼要花時間、精神創作?
當以為把他人的東西無條件分發給朋友,而不是把自己的成果送給別人,就以為是分享(分贓才對!),那還有誰願意創作?
我們要跑羸,就需更多原創!
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
NLP: The Most Important Concept and Skill of NLP
According to myself, the most important concept and skill must be Meta-Model. This is the very first model of NLP and it is also the very core of NLP!
If there were no Meta-Model, NLP did not exist at all!
Meta-Model is used to uncover the Deeper Structure of thinking beneath the Surface Structure of Communication. This helps to identify any misunderstanding in thinking and communication.
The Surface Structure is the content of our thinking and communication after being filtered by our values, beliefs and rules. Not much is left behind. However, these simplified information of the Surface Structure making thinking and communication simper, easier and possible. We just can't think and talk in every single details. This will overload our and others' minds!
The value of Meta-Model is NOT its application in clarifying misunderstandings. Unless you are a detective or a therapist, we seldom use Meta-Model with ourselves and others. It breaks rapport instantly and seriously. Surface Structure is our "normal" communication while Deep Structure is totally abnormal!
Then why is Meta-Model so important?
In order to use Meta-Model effectively, one must be at his/her Meta-Position (i.e. perceiving and thinking above and beyond). When we are in our Meta-Position, we can see more and think clearly. We are outside the "Matrix" of our thinking and environmental influences!
Practicing Meta-Model trains us being able to "go meta" under even the most stressful and confused situation, when a clear mind is most desirable and essential. "Going Meta" is just an impossible skill without practice. The best practice is to practice Meta-Model.
The very basic qualification of a NLP Trainer is not his/her certificate(s). It is too easy to get one nowadays. The basic requirement are the ability to "Think on his/her Feet" and to remain calm and humorous under any situation in class. (Why humorous? One can only be humorous when one can see something different from "normal". You cannot "prepare" and "practice" your "humor" beforehand. Genuine humor is simultaneous and instant.)
Only when one is in the Meta-Position, one has all the above abilities.
The major outcome of learning NLP is NOT to be more persuasive or being excellent. These are the secondary gains only. We learn NLP to make our Inside World nearer to the Outside World, i.e. perceiving, thinking, acting more realistically.
Only when one is in the Meta-Position, one can perceive, think and act more realistically.
Practice your Meta-Model!
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Announcement: The Language Breakthrough Workshop & the Certified Handwriting Analyst Program
After thorough thinking, I finally decided to cancell the coming Language Breakthrough Workshop, which was originally scheduled in April 2008.
Instead, I replace it with the more interesting and rare Certified Handwriting Analyst Program. There are so many "speaking workshops" out there, though I always think mine is great, but anybody can learn that from someone else.
The Certified Handwriting Analyst Program is composed of 2 Parts, the Foundation Course and the Advanced Course. Each is 12 hours long.
Foundation Course: April 2-23, May 7-14 2008 (7:30pm - 9:30pm)
Advanced Course: June 6-27, July 18-25 2008 (7:30pm - 9:30pm)
Sorry to disappoint some of you and please accept my appology.
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Monday, November 12, 2007
我的觀點極短篇: 歷史課是不重要的?
政府的毫無遠見的政策,竟讓兩成的中學不再為初中教授中國歷史課!
試問有什麼科目比歷史更能掌握世界,開拓思考?
但是歷史是舊東西,我們要向前看,就好像什麼『十大建設』才有價值,這又是新比舊好,硬件比軟件重要的理論。
最佳的學習是從經驗中取經,但經驗剎那即逝,難於掌握學習,但歷史卻給人『固定』下來,讓我們慢慢研究,歷史事件本身、歷史事件之間的因果、歷史的發展趨勢,全都是智慧,能放棄學習嗎?
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Written on: Oct 30 2007
我的觀點極短篇: 以低成本運作
不論行事或做人,產能(Productivity)不是一個絕對的概念,而是相對性的,它相對於你的成本,成本越低,回報不高也可以是高產能的。
低成本不是靠『減低成本』來實踐的,如果本身是屬於高成本結構的,能減的只是浪費了的成本,再減就必影響回報!
有效的低成本是基於『低成本結構』,即本身就不需要太多成本,Internet-Based及我在Laser Lessons Program中提及的『單元模式』就是『低成本結構』的例子。
不要只管節省,想想如何以『低成本結構』運作可能得到更多!
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Facilitation: Differentiating Facilitation & Coaching
Both Facilitation and Coaching are great tools for the 21st Century management and helping professionals. But they are different, though the difference is subtle.
What are Coaching & Facilitation?
Both aim at helping others through making them discovering more to develop their own solutions. The difference is not being the number of audience. Both coaching and facilitation can be done on an one-to-one or one-to-many basis.
Coaching is at the far end, the Discovery End of the communication spectrum. It is quite a pure form of discovery. A coach does not know how something was happened and how it is going to happen. A coach helps the clients by perceiving and thinking more and clearer through non-directive questioning.
Facilitation is a less pure form of discovering. A Facilitator guides the clients in perceiving and thinking in a direction decided by the facilitator. A facilitator is an expert in some of the processes commonly faced by a person or an organization, like ideas generation, conflict resolution, etc. A facilitator guides these processes under some frameworks. These frameworks provide directions so that the process becoming easier and faster.
Does Coaching or Facilitation lead others? Yes. A coach leads others' context of perceiving and thinking, while a facilitator leads others' context of the processes. But both do not lead others' content of the issues, i.e. they do not give advises and teach.
When a coach or facilitator advises others, he/she is doing something else other than coaching or facilitation. But most coaches and facilitators give advises because it is easier to do so. Telling always seems easier than helping others to discover by themselves. However, the advises can be not appropriate or wrong!
So, a coaching model must be a perceiving or thinking model (like our A to B Model, 6 Tiers of Questioning Models, Fulfill Model, etc.). A facilitation model should be a process model.
There are so many coaching models out there should be classified as facilitation models as they are talking about a specific process for the clients, like self improvement or business development, etc.
Coaching or Facilitation, which one is easier?
Coaching is easier for the coach, but more difficult for the clients. Facilitation is more difficult for the facilitator, but easier for the clients.
A coach can just rely on one single thinking model to coach while a facilitator require to apply different process models to facilitate different situations. Even for the same kind of situation, like ideas generation, a facilitator might use different process models according to the background of audiences and situation.
It is easier for the facilitator's clients because they are provided with the directions to think. However, the depth of discovery can be greater in coaching and the effects can be longer term and more extensive.
Facilitation is more linear and faster while coaching is more radiant but slower.
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
我的觀點極短篇: 用平常心思維,以進取心行事
小心還是進取?一個很大的矛盾。
小心,最後可能什麼也得不到;
進取,亦有可能什麼也失去!
任何矛盾如能看通,也就沒有什麼矛盾存在。
用平常心思維,以進取心行事。
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Monday, November 05, 2007
Facilitation: 12 Principles of Process Facilitation (plus Principle 1: Preparation)
Facilitation is making the process easier and faster.
To make learning facilitation and doing facilitation easier and faster, I designed the 12 Principles of Process Facilitation.
You an apply facilitation in any process in your organization, no matter it is a meeting, or a brainstorming, conflicts resolution, idea-generation or decision-making session.
I will discuss very briefly (to make it easier and faster!) each of the 12 Principles here and in subsequent articles. Here comes the first principle, Preparation: Creating Base of Successful Facilitation.
Facilitation needs a concrete base to start. Preparation is the key. Preparation happens before the sessions. The most important part is Contracting.
Contracting is not signing of the agreement. It is about both the Facilitator and the Client knowing "what" are going to and need to be happened.
Apart from the "what", ensure both parties understand the "where", "when", "who" and some "how" in order to accomplish the "why" of the process.
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Concepts 101 Part 12: Complex
Complex is different from Complicated.
The nature can be Complex, but not Complicated. We, human beings make things and our lives complicated. Complexity is due to the number of elements and their inter-relationships.
If something is complicated, we see the simplicity in it by viewing it from different perspectives and then we remove the complications.
If something is complex, we admire, understand and utilize its complexity by identifying its components and their interactions.
Effective people simplifies the complicated, but sees through the complexity.
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Sunday, November 04, 2007
Concepts 101 Part 11: Simple (原文為英文,後加中文翻譯)
If something is good and lasting, it must be simple.
If something is a truth, it must be simple.
If it is not simple, there will be too many parts subjected to influence and it will not be lasting. If it is not lasting, it can't be the truth!
Human beings tend to complicate things. Success is resulted from simplifying complicated things.
True simplification is not simply removal of unwanted stuff. Unwanted stuff can be the key elements, which must exist.
True simplification is seeing the simplicity in complicated things and then unfolding the simplicity accordingly.
Seeing is more important than removing.
中文翻譯:
如果某件事情是優秀和持久的,那一定是簡單的。
如果某件事是一個真理,那它一定很簡單。
如果不簡單,被影響的部分就會太多,基於持久。如果不持久的,就不可能是真相!
人傾向於把事情複雜化,成功是把複雜的事情簡單化。
真正的簡化,不是簡單地去除你不想要的部份,不想要的,可能是必須存在的關鍵元素。
真正的簡化是在復雜的事物中看出簡單,然後相應地展現簡單。
看到比去除更重要。
Keith
Explore, Exceed Excel
Updated: Nov 9 2021
Concepts 101 Part 10: Concept, Principle & Skill
Hi,
Behind every great skill, there is a Concept so that the skill can be adapted and adjusted according to the situation.
Even fools can understand that there is an underlying concept, but not everyone can comprehend the concept behind even he/she knows about the skill.
Then he/she can only use the skill at its surface level and can never be a master of it! (That's why I always do a long introduction at any of my programs so that everyone understand the concept before they learn something)
Concepts are difficult to be comprehended because they are abstract. To make the skill useful, smart originators of any skill will formulate Principles to guide the Skill users in applying.
When you learn a skill, at least clarify its Principles or you have not really learned the skill.
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Systemic Typology: Concepts Behind Fate Reengineering Workshop
I don't like to transfer just skills and techniques in my programs. There are always underlying concepts behind all of my seminars and workshops.
I am going to present the concepts behind all my programs. Starting with the one I did recently...
Fate Reengineering Workshop is the Level 1 of my Systemic Personality Typology Series. This is a systemic approach of changing our own fate by means of being aware of our personality:
1. Personality is the collection of many faces of our ego. They are interactive. We seldom can see most of these faces. We need tools.
2. Personality Typologies are the tools. Each guides us to see our personality from a different perspective.
3. There is no good or bad personality.Your quality of life depends on how you cope with your super-systems, like your environment, your family, your social groups, etc.
4. Being aware of our personality and then adjusting and adapting with the bigger super-systems around us is an Intentional Process. We need to make a conscious decision to do so.
5. Awareness, Reality Check and Acceptance are the basis of effective adjustment and adaptation.
6. Adjustment and adaptation starts with stop manipulating others and ourselves.
7. People with Effective Personality (remember: no good or bad personality!) can grasp the Rising Opportunities and avoid the Falling Traps. Thus we can go up in our Fate Cycles.
8. People with Ineffective Personality can easily be affected by the Falling Traps to go down their Fate Cycles.
9. Effectiveness is about adaptability. Is your personality producing behaviours that create desirable results in your environment?
10. It is all about development. You are still you, but you can be bigger and better.
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Updated: Feb 14 2014
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Systemic Typology: Enneagram is Copying Freud?
In my 2 previous article, Enneagram, What Really is it and Summary Key Points of the Fate Reengineering Program, I proposed the possible source of enneagram is from Freud's Theories.
My hypothesis is that Ichazo was fitting Freud's Ideas onto the Enneagram Symbol of Gurdjieff in the 60's. There can be no evidence as Ichazo had not disclosed how exactly he invented the Enneagram. It is just a hypothesis. My hypothesis is based on the following 4 observations:
1. Freudism was still the most popular school of psychology in the 1960's.
2. Ichazo named his invention as the Enneagon of Ego Fixation. Both the terms Ego and Fixation are very popular terms of Freudism.
3. There are many correlation between Enneagram and Freudism, for example, the 9 types was very similar to the 6 types of Psychosexual Development Fixation and the symptoms of the Unhealthy Id, Ego and Superego. Similar concepts of Repression, Acting Out, Defensive Mechanisms, Sublimation (results of Inetgration), Death Instincts (the compulsion to repeat unpleasurable experiences) can also be found in Enneagram.
4. The core concept of Ichazo's Ennegarm, the Essence resembles very much Freud's Theory on the Unconscious. According to Ichazo, the loss of awareness of the Holy Idea beccomes a person's Ego Fixation. We repress unpleasant memories into the Subconscious and we gradually moving away from the awareness. This fixed how we think and act.
I am not saying that Ichazo stole anything from Freud. Might be he was having similar understanding as of Freud. The key purpose of my hypothesis is to make clear that the original Enneagram (or Enneagon) is something related to psychology than to mysticism.
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Personal Development: Summary Key Points of the Fate Reengineering Program
I just completed the Fate Reengineering Program. There were tons of information and they are not easy. So to make those who have attended and those who haven't having a clearer view of the Systemic Personality Typology, I write these key points for you:
1. Personality is a dynamic set of characteristics, which influences people's cognition, motivation and behaviour.
2. Personality is used represent us, but not to disguise our identity.
3. Study of Personality is systemic. All 7 theories of personality psychology are right. Each of which explains part of the whole story.
4. The 4 Elements of Fate Reengineering are the 4 criteria from Maslow: Awareness, Reality Centred, Acceptance and Democratic.
5. Personality is systemic. We are presenting to the world different faces of our personality. They are contextual, not the core.
6. Personality Typology is systemic. Each typology is seeing personality from one perspective.
7. MBTI or the Jungian Personality Types is seeing personality from a perspective of the 8 Mental or Cognitive Functions. 16 types are the result of combination of 2 groups of mental functions, each having 4 variations. (Not the combination of 4 groups of letters E/I, S/N, T/F & J/P)
8. Enneagram is seeing personality from a perspective of Maladpative Behaviour Mechanism.
9. PPACC is seeing personality from a perspective of the combined action of the 5 Ego States.
10. When understanding the MBTI code, the first and last letters are only used to indicate the preference of the 8 mental functions. Never use these 2 letters to understand one's personality and to seek improvement and development. This will be misleading.
11. To improve, utilize your Supporting Function to balance your Leading Function.
12. To develop, explore your Achievement Function.
13. To be adaptive, be flexible on all your 8 Mental Functions.
14. To use DiSC as shortcut, remember it is your DiSC profiles when you are stress-free.
15. For best and lowest energy consumption performance, use your Inborn (or Core) Functions.
16. Use Enneagram as a "Times Table" for Freud's theories. It is not mystic or sacred. (see my another article on: Enneagram, What Really is It?)
17. Enneagram analysis should be Thematic, not Analytic.
18. High, Average, Low Points, Integration and Disintegration is NOT a direction, but a Signal of Development.
19. High, Average, Low Points, Integration and Disintegration are the result of Awareness. They indicate your Degree of Awareness.
20. So, to develop, enhance your Awareness and Understanding of what you are searching for, your compulsory behaviours, and your maladaptive behaviour mechanism.
21. Different Enneagram types are equivalent to the 6 types of Oral, Anal & Phallic Fixation of Freud's Psychosexual Stage Theory (#2: Electra Complex, #4: Oral Aggressive Fixation, #5: Oral Receptive Fixation, #7: Anal Expulsive Fixation, #8: Oedipus Complex, #1: Anal Retentive Fixation), plus the symptoms from Unhealthy Id (#3), Unhealthy Ego (#6) and Unhealthy Superego (#9).
22. We can't accurately identify others' personality type. It is impossible due to there can be hundreds & thousands of variations of Enneagram Types and Contextual Selves (in MBTI). Only the arrogant and ignorant will claim they can do so.
23. Personality Typology is best for Self Development.
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Monday, October 29, 2007
Personal Development: Enneagram, What Really is It?
As I mentioned in the Fate Reenginering Workshop yesterday, from my point of view, enneagram is just a clever fiiting of Freud's theories, plus some ideas from philosophy and metaphysics into the enneagram symbol by its originator, Ichazo in the 1960's. There is nothing sacred in it!
His students and the students of them are continuously adding various kind of stuff into it in the past 30 years. Some are great stuff, some are not.
The enneagram symbol was released to public by Gurdjieff in the 1910's. He had never disclosed the source of this symbol. There is no evidence proving that it was coming from any ancient wisdom. Ichazo borrowed from Gurdjieff the symbol and created his Enneagon of Ego Fixation.
Enneagram is quite accurate. It can be simply because of the reliability of Freud's Theories. You can find the Freud's ideas of Fixation, Repression, Defense Mechanism, etc hidden in the Enneagram of Personality.
I always see enneagram as a useful tool for remembering and applying some of Freud's theories in daily life. Its usefulness is just like the "Times Table" (乘數表) in mathematics.
Take for an example, the Direction of Disintegration in enneagram is 1-4-2-8-5-7-1 and 9-6-3-9. There might be some mystic rationale behind Gurdjieff's original enneagram. But this was just a fitting of Freud's idea of Repression and Acting Out into the symbol. There is nothing mystic. Each type of "personality" is repressing some emotions. When under stress, each releases the repressed emotion in a different way as a Protective Mechanism.
2 releases the repressed emotion of Anger (towards those who did not responded to 2's help and kindness) by attacking, like an unhealthy 8.
3 releases the repressed emotion of Shame (due to 3's failures to achieve) by dissociating from their feelings and turn themselves off, like an unhealthy 9.
4 releases the repressed emotion of Hatred (I am not as good as others) by coercing others to take care of them like an unhealthy 2.
5 releases the repressed emotion of Loneliness and Anxiety (due to 5's isolation and frustration in searching for answers) by acting impulsively and hysterically, like an unhealthy 7.
6 releases the repressed emotion of Fear and Anger (of abandonment and inadequacy) by acting violently towards others, like an unhealthy 3.
7 releases the repressed emotion of Worry and Anxiety (due to losing self-control) by imposing strict rules on themselves and others. 7 might become very critical like an unhealthy 1.
8 releases the repressed emotion of Fear (due to the real and imagined threats from others) by retreating into isolation, like an unhealthy 5.
9 releases the repressed emotion of Helplessness and Anxiety (due to the accumulating effects of previously neglected problems) by depending on others or even becoming self-destructive, like an unhealthy 6.
1 releases the repressed emotion of Shame, Guilt & Self-Hatred (they cannot keep their own rules) and Hatred towards others (others violated their rules or others do not care about their ideals) by becoming self-destructive, addiction or depression, like an unhealthy 4.
You can find many other similar co-relationships of Freud's theories and the Enneagram of Personality. I really like the Enneagram as a Times Table for Freudism.
Forget about the sacredness and mysticism. Use it as a Times Table.
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Friday, October 19, 2007
Concepts 101 Part 9: Discovery & Influence 發現與影響 (原文為英文,後加中文翻譯)
NLP: Some Key Ideas on Advanced Language Patterns
I just finished this year's Advanced Language Patterns (ALP) Module of the NLP Practitioner Training last week. I like to share some of my ideas about ALP.
1. ALP are the most important models of NLP. NLP is the study of the interaction between thinking (Neuro) and Use of Language (Linguistics). We never know what others or even what we think. Thinking is inside our mind. They are the Implicit Part of NLP. The Explicit Part is the Language we use. So Language becomes the "Monitor" of our "Human CPU" (our thinking)!
2. The Content of our language reflects the Content of our thinking. They are very important but they are also too complicated to be understood by normal persons, like you and me. The Patterns of our language reflects the Patterns of our thinking. They are also complicated but much simpler than the content. NLP is the study of the Patterns (context) of our thinking through the Patterns of our Language!
3. Apart from the many other language patterns taught in the module, Meta Model, Milton Model, Presuppositions, and Sleight of Mouth (Reframing using language) are the most important four.
4. Meta Model helps to get more detail information (deep structure) of people's thinking. This eliminates misunderstandings of our perceptions of the environment and behaviors due to our filters of Values, Beliefs and Rules (i.e. Distortion, Deletion and Generalization)
5. Milton Model distorts, deletes and generalizes our thinking so that we change our behaviors without much efforts (i.e. capabilities). This can be good or bad, depending on the content. But Milton Model reflects how we think.
6. Presuppositions also works on our perceptions of environment and behaviors so that we can change easier without much efforts. NLP is also the study of our internal presuppositions, i.e. Filters. It is the Filters that causes the discrepancies of our internal world (Our Perceptions) and the external world (i.e. Reality). The greater the discrepancies, the less realistic we are and the more problems we face.
7. Reframing is the temporary adoptation of another set of Filters instead of the dorminated set so that we can see something differently (gaining more information through a different perception). This is an external way to affect the internal filters. It is difficult or even impossible to work directly with our filters as they are internal and hard to identify. With a new set of filters, we can see more about our Reality and thus decreasing the discrepancies.
8. Meta Model is the easiest of all as it is quite mechanical. You observe the Meta Model Violations and then apply the respective Meta Model to make others or yourself to go meta to see more.
9. Milton Model is also easy. It is just filling in the blank and apply. The only difficult part is deciding what to fill in. The secret is "Pacing & Leading". There are always at least 2 parts of a Milton Model. The first part is Pacing and the second part is Leading. Only the stupid or someone who doesn't really understand NLP will tell you to just fill in anything and you can then persuade others.
10. Presuppositions is again easy. It is also filling in the blank and apply. The secret is there must be lots of "Truth" and a bit of "Falseness". If the "Fasleness" is too false, make it less false before filling in.
11. People find the above 3 difficult because they are unable to see the Meta Model Violations or what to be filling in for the Milton Model or the Presuppositions. Why? Because they are at the same level of the speaker! You must go meta first before you can see them! Einstein once said that we can't solve the problems at the same level of the source of the problems. He is very right.
12. Reframing is the hardest of the fours because Reframing is working on the Filters (Beliefs, Values, Rules), which are already in the upper level which governs people's lower level of capabilities, behaviours and environment. If we need to go meta to see our lower level, we need to go meta-meta to see our upper levels. I had talked about Meta-Meta in Master NLP Practitioner Program. It is difficult to grasp. I will talk about it in greater details in my later messages.
Here is an easier way to understand. If you want to refarme others, you must see the other frame(s) first before you can lead someone to see through that new frame(s). It is NOT a simple filling in the blank. You see something before you can tell someone how to see it! If you are stuck or not being flexible, you can never see the possibilities of any new frame.
13. The best way to judge someone's understanding of NLP is to ask him/her to demonstrate the ALP. One can memorize all the patterns, but using them is another story!
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Personal Development: NLP, Hypnosis, Coaching, Facilitation, Systemic Thinking and Influencing
I teach quite a lot of stuff, mainly including NLP, Hypnosis, Coaching, Facilitation, Systemic Thinking and Influencing. They seem to be quite different but I am teaching the same thing, Self Awareness!
1. NLP is the gaining of awareness through realizing and minimizing the discrepancy of our External World (Reality) and Internal World (Perceptions). This results in a clearer and realistic thinking.
2. Hypnosis is about accumulating awareness by recognizing and re-understanding our beliefs that leaded to our problems. This results in solving of our problems.
3. Coaching is to enhance our awareness by exposing our assumptions and blind spots. This results in development.
4. Facilitation is the gaining of awareness using different frameworks and directions of thinking. This leads to faster and easier results.
5. Systemic Thinking is increasing our awareness through exploring beyond our usual system of thinking and to identify the connections between sub-systems. This results in seeing more, in form of both bigger pictures and details.
6. Influencing is attaining awareness by understanding human patterns of thinking. You can then persuade others according to their thinking patterns.
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Coaching: Some Misunderstandings about Coaching
One of our classmates asked me a question. Someone told her the following about coaching:
1. We must use reflecting (paraphrasing) to build rapport in coaching.
2. We can coach by doing self-Disclosure (sharing your experience).
3. A coach is required to confront with the coachee.
She is confused. My answer is as follow:
One of the most acceptable definition of coaching is: coaching in non-sporting environments focus on non-directive questioning, provocation and helping clients to analyse and solve their own challenges, rather than offering advice or direction. (This definition was given by Timothy Gallwey, the Father and Originator of Coaching)
If this definition is right, then anything that offering direction and advice is NOT coaching. Reflection and self disclosure can be very directive.
Rapport building is very important in any form of helping, not just coaching. We can adopt a more non-directive way to build rapport in coaching, like talking about what the clients want to discuss. (i.e. 今日想同我傾D乜?). Furthermore, if we are doing real coaching, we do not have our own position or standpoint (立場). This is already the best form of rapport building as we will never argue with the coachees.
Confronting with coachee is the easiest way to lose rapport!
In the past years, I respect the above definition so much that I try my best to develop ways and models to coach without giving advices and directions. They will never be as efficient as directly giving advices or indirectly leading the coachees. However, people wants quick results and starts to do all sorts of things to "speed up" the result of coaching. The outcome is many so-called coaches practicing psychotherapy, counselling, and consulting without proper qualification, but using the name of coaching. I predicted this 6 years ago in 2001 during the 1st class of Registered Corporate Coach Training.
Think of you can have 2 tools to help your people (as a matter of fact, we can have tens of tools to help), they are coaching and advising. But if you mix up the two, we then only have one instead of 2.
Coaching is never better than all other forms of helping. But if coaching is a separate form of helping, then it must be different from others. Or it is just something old with a new name-tag.
Years ago, I already decided to take up my mission of promoting the "Pure" form of Coaching. It can be a lonely and difficult path, but I enjoy it so much!
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Learning from Life 156 -160
This is another edition of Learning from Life.
156. If you want to change your Future, change it at Now.
157. People doesn't mean "No" when they say "No".
158. But they also do not mean "Yes", when they say "Yes".
159. People will steal from you. The best way to protect your belongings is to ensure that you can earn them back even if you lose them.
160. People wants to be heard.
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Signs are Everywhere: A Great Magazine in China
Recently I went to China for a short break.
I wandered around the street and found a magazine in a book shop. It was just 6 dollars, but a great magazine. Colour printing, quality paper, clear editing, informative articles with points. It was just 6 dollars!
Quality of magazines and books always reflects the quality of people. People in Mainland China are not only improving their "hardware", but also their "software" now.
They are improving and if we are not, we can't be "special" even we are in a "Special Administration Region"!
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Monday, October 15, 2007
My Affiliation with Organizations
Some graduates of my coaching and hypnotherapy programs emailed me recently, asking about my affiliation with some organizations. They were requested to join some of the organizations in Hong Kong, which state that I am part of them.
There were so many of them asking me the same question, so I like to clarify here. I am not part of any of those organizations. I don't know why I was said to be part of them, but I am not!
There are already too many organizations out there. My only interest is to train, but not organizing whatever. I had created some organizations in the past. They are solely for the convenience of providing training. I will never encourage anyone to join them as I am not sure whether I have any time to organize any activity for them.
So, join those organziations if you like to do so (everyone has free will) but I know nothing about them at all.
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Monday, October 08, 2007
Hypnosis: Positive Messages Process 發現正面訊息過程
協助受者發現正面訊息的過程,是我們的SOBER Hypnotherapy系統的獨特和核心部份,亦是我們的方法與別不同之處;如果您忽略了這個重要過程,您將使您的進行的治療效果遠遠失色,您浪費了您和您的受者的時間和努力。
由於她是那麼很重要的,我曾於催眠治療師課程中,詳細地解釋了這個過程,以下是那天我的講解的一個簡單概要。
我們現在的難題,並不是由以前的某人或某事直接地引起的,它是由於某些過去事件,發展出一些信念所引致的。舉一個簡化了的例子,當您那時只得十歲,您在某次唱歌比賽中,面對眾人時感覺十分恐懼,您不自覺地獲取了對『面對公眾是恐佈的』這種信念,因此,當您現在已經是30歲了,您仍然恐懼於眾人面前講話。
在我們SOBER系統下,受者在催眠狀態期間,發現正面訊息的過程,是在您協助他回顧他的過去事件、關係和信念之後的一個內心整合過程,他在回顧之後,對事情獲取了新的理解,並且通過描述出來,他的理解得以具體化,這些具體正面的訊息,成為了他新的信念;我們不能通過不再相信某事,來直接刪除我們的舊信念,但是我們卻能用新的信念,取代原有的信念!
正面訊息中的『正面』,並非我們日常所指的樂觀、合乎道德、合乎操守的,甚至它並不需要是『好』的;判斷受者新的理解是否好壞,既不是我們的工作,也不是我們能力所及的;我不是說樂觀、合乎道德、合乎操守或者『好』的信念並不重要,只是我們不應該硬把我們自己的評斷,放諸於我們的治療對象身上!
一個訊息是正面的,它必須符合以下3個標準:
1. 可執行的 Actionable:否則受者根本不能做任何事情,來改變他的情況;此外,沒有行動,亦因而沒有結果,受者便不能進一步地具體化他們新的信念。(記得我們什麼時候使用『即係?』這條問題?)
2. 安全的 Safe:對客戶和其他人,這些新的信念沒有任何潛在危險。(記得我們什麼時候使用『因為?』這條問題?)
3. 沒有局限的 Without Limitation:發現新的信念的目的,是為了受者開放更多的可能性,減少限制他們,難題是受者給自己在思想和行動的局限。(記得我們什麼時候使用『因為?』這條問題?)
當3個標準均符合時,新的信念,與及因而引起的新的行動,就可能是更加現實的!
The Process of Positive Messages is very unique and core part of our system of SOBER Hypnotherapy. If you miss this process, you will make your therapy far, far less effective. You waste your and your client's time and effort.
As it is so important, I explained the process in more details in my recent SOBER Therapy Module of the Certified Hypnotherapist Program. Below is a brief summary of what I had explained that day.
It is not someone in the past or something happened in the past directly causes us problem now. It is the beliefs that developed out of that past event that cause us troubles. For example, you was so fear during a singing contest when you were 10. You unconsciously gained a belief of "public presentation is something horrible". So when you are now already 30, you fear much about speaking in front of people.
In our SOBER System, the Positive Messages Process is the consolidation process after you review your past event, relationship and beliefs during hypnosis. You gain new understanding after the review and you make your new understanding concrete through verbalizing them out. These concrete positive messages become your new beliefs. We can't just delete our old beliefs by not believing in something, but we can only replace the old beliefs with new ones. You believe in something else instead!
Positive Messages are not messages that are "positive" in general sense. It does not need to be optimistic, moral, ethical or even be good. It is not our job and we can't judge the content of our clients' new understanding. I am not saying that being optimistic, moral, ethical or good is not important. But we should not push our own judgement towards our clients!
To be positive, a message must meet the following 3 criteria:
1. Actionable. Or the client can't do anything about it to change his/her situation. Furthermore, without actions (thus without results), clients can't further solidify their new beliefs. (Remember our use of 即係?)
2. Safe. There is no potential danger (to the clients and others) in the message. (Remember our use of 因為?)
3. Without Limitation. The new beliefs are opening up possibilities for the clients, not further limiting them. In hypnosis, a problem is a limitation of client's thinking and actions. (Remember our use of 因為?)
When all 3 criteria are met, the new beliefs (and thus the new actions generated) could be more realistic!
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Updated with Chinese Translation: Feb 8 2009
NLP: The Missing Filter
One core part of NLP is the study of Filters in distorting, deleting and generalizing our thinking. The NLP Filters include Value (i.e. what's important?), Belief (i.e. what's real?) and Rule (i.e. what's right?). These filters can make our thinking and thus our behaviours distant from reality!
So, verifying our filters is one of the major purposes of learning NLP. But one even more influential filter is missing, our Emotions.
When we are in a positive emotional state (e.g. happy, excited, love, etc.), we tend to assign positive values to people, things and happenings. We are in a more readily accepting mood, even something we consider not good to us. However, when we are in a negative emotional states (e.g. sad, angry, fear, etc.), we do the opposites.
This is so called the "Self Deception" researched by Prof. Paul Thagard of the University of Waterloo. We unconsciously distort, delete, and/or generalize the reality when under emotions. This is why the State of Knowing Nothing (in New Coded NLP) is so important in gaining maximum insights. When we know nothing, we are in a void emotional state!
This is also the purpose of Emotional Release when we are doing the Transformational Hypnotherapy Skills (i.e IR, IC, etc.). Only after the emotions are released, the effect of emotions on our thinking is reduced so that we can gain positive messages after the process.
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Facilitation: 13 Things People Need to Know
No matter you are a coach, a facilitator or anyone who want to help yourself or others (person or organization) to improve or develop, there are 13 things need to be known for any progress. One might not need to know them all. The more they be aware of them, the easier and faster their path for development!
1. Strengths. Your marketable core competencies.
2. Limitations. Your lacking of the marketable core competencies.
3. Opportunities. What's outside that can be attracted by your core competencies.
4. Threats. What's outside that can be attracted by the core competencies you are lacking!
5. Values. What are important to you.
6. Guiding Principles. How do you make decisions.
7. Visions. What can be possible in the future.
8. Standards. Your minimum requirements.
9. Landmarks. How do you know you are on the right tracks!
10. Purposes. Overall objectives.
11. Tasks. Something need to be done at certain time.
12. Assumptions. What you think is truth and/or fact!
13. Directions. Which paths to take.
Being a coach/facilitator, it is our job to help our clients to discover the above!
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Top 5 Tips: Top 5 Ways to be a Good Coach
Do you want to use coaching to help other improve and grow? If yes, take a look at my top 5 ways to be a good coach.
1. Get Formal Training. Coaching is not a list of questions to ask, or a collection of several skills. It is an art and you need training and practice to make it useful to your clients.
2. Learn from your Clients. See how they think. See how they improve. See what works and what doesn’t!
3. Treat your Clients like Human Beings. They are not subjects or objects. They are people. They have their problems and they can think by themselves. Your job is helping them to think!
4. Accepting the Facts that Clients will Come & Go. You can never keep a client for life. They come and go. Do your best to coach them when they are still with you!
5. Coach with some Frameworks. Coaching is never a guesswork or simply by intuition. Many say so, just because they do not know they are already using some frameworks in their coaching works. Learn and try some coaching models. Use them so that you are not coach randomly. Or this will simply confuse your clients, rather than helping them think with clarity.
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
我的觀點極短篇: 最沒用的是有用的
『三十輻共一轂,當其無有,車之用』... 道德經。
車輪中央是空的,就是這個沒有用的『空』,才能把車軸連上,造就了車的功用。
最沒用的是有用的!
在車上我以 ipod 播放音樂,但它與 Hi-Fi 的接線有點問題,它必須正正的放好才有聲音,在 ipod 旁有一堆廢紙,一堆沒用的東西,但多月來還未丟掉,今天下定決心把它們拋棄,開車時才發覺 ipod 沒有聲音了!
最沒用的是有用的,它們把 ipod 頂著固定放好!
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Updated: Dec 18 2015
Top 5 Tips: Top 5 Reasons of Doing or Learning Coaching
I have been teaching coaching for more than 6 years. But why should we coach or learn coaching? Here are my top 5 reasons:
1. Coaching is growing. More people are going into the coaching field and more managers are using coaching to help their staff and their business day after days. If you don't coach or you don't know how to coach, you are lagging behind the whole new world.
2. Both the Coach & the Coachee improve. You can't stop yourself improving when you help others to improve. You can't stop yourself getting your own problems solved when you help others to solve their problems. You can't stop yourself seeing more opportunities when you help others to see their
opportunities.
3. Probably, you improve more than your coachees. Your coachees might present something you've struggled and/or you are struggling yourself. You can see clearly yourself.
4. Coaching is for your career development. You coach your people. When they improve, your team's performance Improves. You can also consider moving into the coaching field as your next step in your career.
5. Everybody can be benefited from coaching. No everyone needs therapy, counseling or advices. But everyone can gain insights from being coached. You need a lot of education and experience to become a therapist, counselor or consultant. But it does not requires too much training to be a good coach because coaching is absolutely helping others just by making them helping themselves.
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Article Written on Aug 2007
My Point of View: 我的思維理論
我們需不需要學習思維?
不需要,因為我們大部份人也沒有學過思維,但每天我們也在思維!需要,因為雖然思維功能是天生的,好的思維卻不是!什麼是思維?中外哲學家及心理學家均有大量不同的解釋與定義,我對思維的個人看法是認知+學習+聯繫+重複使用。
1. 認知:認出知道人、事、物,即『這是什麼』
2. 學習:認出知道後,了解其應用,即『那又如何』
3. 聯繫:把人、事、物,『這是什麼』及『那又如何』聯繫一起,以後每次看到/想到那人、事、物,隨即自動想起並使用這組聯繫
4. 重複使用:未來不斷使用這組聯繫,每用一次,這組聯繫便越強,越易引發,而且引發速度越快!
我們的認知及學習功能,又受到已存在的聯繫影響,越強的聯繫,帶來的影響越大。
這意味什麼?我們的思維基本上是自動化的,在沒有刻意的情況下,無論你如何多看多學,也走不出『過去』的規範,結果只是不斷重複過去而矣!
如何跳出這個思維的框框?下期再作詳談。
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Customer Service: Gap 6 & 7 in Servqual Model
One of our ISQMP (Qualicert Internal Auditor Program) graduates asked me about the Gap 6 & 7 in the Servqual Model of Service Quality.
Servqual Model is originated by Parasuraman in 1985. He only proposed 5 Gaps in his model. In all his revised versions of his model in 1988, 1991 and finally in 1994, these 5 Gaps remain unchanged. Only in 1988, he added the 5 Dimensions of Service Quality, i.e. the RATER - Reliability, Assurance, Tangibles, Empathy & Responsiveness.
Gap 6 & 7 were added by another scholars, Luk & Layton in 2002. Gap 6 is the discrepancy between customer's expectations and employees' perceptions, while Gap 7 is the discrepancy between employees' perceptions and management's perceptions.
These 2 gaps can be useful, but they are not part of the Servqual Model. If someone tells you that there are 7 gaps in the Servqual Model, s/he is confused.
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Think-Tank 2007
Think-Tank這個『做』創意的聚會,去年我們辦了三次,今年於本月初辦了一次。
去年三次合共6小時裡共產生了11,169個意念,今年又破記錄,一次僅兩小時(實質只用了55分鐘而矣)便產生了7,518個意念,110人參與,平均每人68.3個Ideas!
開辦這個活動的目的,在於讓我們的腦筋靈活,而不是發明什麼偉大創意,看來我們真的做到了!這比只空談創新,從不親自參與其中優勝得多,下年我將再接再厲,再與各位一同磨練腦筋!
要有創意,絕非憑學習什麼創意技術,憑什麼創意技術來創造本身已媚絕無創意;我們只有親自參與創造意念,不管它的好壞,從而靈活我們的腦筋,創意才會來臨我們的身上!
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel