Saturday, September 30, 2006

Coaching: Definition of Coaching


With the rising popularity of Coaching in both Hong Kong and China, there seem to be more confusions about this term.

There are 2 major confusions about Coaching:

1. People uses the term "coaching" interchangely with other terms like, "counselling", "training", "personal training", "mentoring", "personal instructing", "guiding", etc.

If they are the same thing, why a new term and a new form of skill?

2. People adds knowledge and skills from other areas to coaching, like active listening, NLP, enneagram, leadership, persoanl development etc. If coaching is a different skill from all others, it should have its own skillset.

If only one definition is allowed, I will define coaching as:

"Facilitating others to identify blindspots in thinking through dialogue"

To clarify:

1. Coaching is NOT "counselling", "training", "personal training", "mentoring", "personal instructing", "guiding", etc. Coaching is NOT better than the above. They are just different.

2. Active Listening, NLP, enneagram, etc can help a coach to coach, but they are not Coaching itself. You do not need to know any of the above to coach effectively. Knowing the above does not make you knowing how to coach.

3. Coaching can result in better leadership and personal development due to the discovery of blindspots. But Coaching is not Leadership or Personal Development.

4. If one wants to learn coaching, the only 2 things need to learn is "Dialogue" and the "Mechanism of Blindspots".


Thursday, September 28, 2006

Learning from Life #86 - #90


Hope you find another 5 of my Learning from Life enjoyable:

86. We really love someone if we do not expect anything from him/her!

87. If you think you can help anyone, you are the one who need help most.

88. If you want help, ask!

89. We focus on what we can't control. This gives us sadness, worry and fear!

90. Life is much easier when you ignore the meaningless.


Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Talking Behind the Mirror


Talking is like a mirror. It reflects back to ourselves.

If we really observe, we can learn a lot from the mirror.

But if we talk behind the mirror, there is less stress but we learn nothing!





知識、智識、智慧乃三種不同的『智』,三種皆有別於我們日常學習時得到的資料 (Information),當你運用你學到的資料時,你能因應你的情況來使用它們,你獲得知識;當你思考到個別知識之間的關係時,你增長智識;當你發現了不同範疇智識的關係時,你體會智慧

很多人不相信智慧就是這麼簡單 (其實要做到也絕非簡單),不少人傾向認為智慧是偉大的,無邊無際的,那只是高層次的智慧,智慧也可分為不同層次,亦即是不同層次的無為無漏,無為即無目的,智識是有為的,它是以達成結果為目的,如果我們是有目的地追尋智慧,結果也只是回到智識範疇




Explore Exceed & Excel

Saturday, September 23, 2006

The Real Secret of Creativity


I am conducting the Creativity Trip right now in Zhong Shan. There are around 20 participants from Hong Kong and several from Zhong Shan joining us.

As promised, we are not learning common creativity skills here.

If real creativity ideas are uncommon ideas, how can we get something uncommon from something common?!

But the key point of the workshop is not about skills. Skill is just the "Body" of creativity. Without "Mind", there is no real creativity.

What is the "Mind" of the creative skills?


A creative person is not a person with skills. Don't you find many people who had learned all those creativity skills but still not being creative! They lack the "Mind" of creativity.

An intelligent person is creative.

But how can we make ourselves more intelligent?

Simple, by accumulating more Intelligence!

Intelligence is not Information. When someone can't tell you how many cm is 1 mile, but he does knows 1 mile = 1,760 yard,1 yard = 3 feet, 1 metre = 3.28 feet, 1 metre = 100 cm, then he has a lot of Information but not enough Intelligence!

Acumulating Intelligence is the finding of Links within Information.

Start your accumulation today for a "Creative You" tomorrow!


Friday, September 15, 2006

Fight or Flight Instinct


I talked about human instinct in our NLP Program. Why?

1. We are animal, we have instinct. This is the most powerful drive. This Fight or Flight instinct keeps us alive. Accepting this fact makes us evolving beyond it. Ignoring it keeps us controlled by it.

2. What makes us human, not just an animal? We are controlling our instinct or our instinct is controlling us.

Do a simple game on yourself. Observe yourself - are we always fight or flight when something happens?

If your answer is "yes", then you are controlled by your instinct!

When we see everything happening is "threatening", then we automatically go into the fight or flight instinct. We attack, physically or verbally (督), or we ignore, escape, retreat, side-slip (縮).

So, when we find ourselves always in the 督 and 縮 cycles, we are just an animal. Human has a much broader spectrum of responses!

Think, and we can have much more responses than just the 2 reactions!


Thursday, September 14, 2006

Hypnosis: Hypnosis is about Changes Part 6


This is the Part 6, the final part of the article series of "Hypnosis is about Changes".

To recap what we had discussed in the last 5 parts:

Source > Beliefs > Problems/Factors > Symptoms

This model reflects 5 locations we hypnotherapists can work on with our clients. This enhances our flexibility. But the picture is not yet completed. Here is the 6th element.

Source > Beliefs > Problems/Factors > Symptoms > Results

Clients come to you sometimes due to the Symptoms, and sometimes due to the Results. They might be asking for help on their red face when meeting the opposite sexes, or they might be requesting for help in their difficulties in having a boy/girl friend. The former is the Symptoms while the latter is the Results.

We can help the client to change the results without changing any of the previous 5 elements. He can still having red face when meeting girls, but he can be able to talk with them even with a red face.

When we can't do anything with all the 5 other elements due to whatever reasons, we can add/remove/change some other behaviours to achieve an alternative but improved result. We can do this by Hypnotic Suggestions, Inner Guidance, Inner Mediation or Ego States Therapy. The original problem still exists, but the client gets a better result.

When I was dealing with very old-aged clients, or when the pain from the Source was too great for him/her to touch on his/her Source, Beliefs, Problems, or the Source and/or the Belief was too repressed that we can uncover nothing, I will just handle his/her Results.

This is the final part of this series, and I hope you can get a fuller picture on hypnotherapeautic intervention.

I plan to start another series on blind-spots. Hope you can find it useful too.


Zen & Logic- My Points of View


One of our NLP classmates raised a discuusion in Zen and Logic.

I know quite nothing about Zen but exploration always yields some learning. Here is my exploration.

鈴木大拙 is absolutely right that Zen is not based on Logic and Zen practitioners can't 悟 using Logic. This is right if we are talking about Classical Logic, which originated from ancient India, China and Greece. But Zen and Logic can co-exist if we are considering Non-Classical Logic, which started in the 60's - 70's.

I guess that 鈴木大拙 was referring to the Classical Logic as he died in 1966.

As Zen is about "whole", the 二元模式 (eg. true or false) of the Classical Logic limits its usefulness in applying Zen. However, many schools of the Non Classical Logic do not insist the 二元模式.

From a systemic point of view on logic, the world (or universe) consists of multiple causes and effects. Many causes might lead to many effects. We can't see the "whole" because we limit ourselves to one single or only several causes and effects.

If you read really through 鈴木大拙's writings, his idea of 頓悟 is that understanding starts in Subconscious Mind and then gets into the Conscious Mind. When the understanding gets into the Conscious Mind, we get a sudden thorough understanding - 頓悟. Before that, we understand nothing because it is in the Subconscious. This is a great modern interpretation of Zen by 鈴木大拙!

頓悟 is possible because the Subconscious Mind can handle unlimited number of pieces of information (Multiple Causes and Effects). Classical Logic is a reasoning process using the Conscious Mind. So they are not compatible.

禪定 in Zen practice is the accessing of Subconscious!

The "whole" is all the causes and effects. So, Zen is also talking about Logic, but not the kind of single cause and effect logic.

Getting 頓悟 through Zen is too far away from normal people (how many people had already getting 頓悟?!) But it doesn't mean that Zen is useless. Zen practice gives normal people a clearer mind. A clearer mind can give normal people a good ground for improvement, development and breakthrough.

Zen also teach us not insisting on everything as everything is 虛妄. Many Zen masters teach us even not to study 公案 as 公案 is condition-based. 公案 is only useful under that single occasion. The condition of that occasion composes of many causes and we can't duplicate all those causes in the current occasion. This is another beautiful illustration of Multiple Causes & Effects nature of Zen. Quoting anything, including someone else's sayings (even though he/she is a guru) is not Zen.

Zen can only studied by oneself, and so no one can give you any advise on Zen, but yourself!

Even though we are not practising Zen, Zen can give us a great insight - there are many causes and effects. To understand something, don't limit ourselves to single cause and effect. Can't you see that this is also one of the NLP basic presupposition!

It is NOT NLP copying Zen. It is just because they are both studying the same thing - Thinking. Again, I am not talking about the Classical Logical Thinking here.

Some final words, both Conscious Thinking and Subsconscious Thinking are "Logical". Rational and Emotional Thinking are also "Logical". There are logics (i.e. causes & effects) in all our thinkings!

真理不是Linear(single cause and effect), 但是邏輯(Logical)的!


Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Philosophy of Life and Philosophy of Living


Can NLP be someone's philosophy of life? No!!!

NLP is just the technique of modeling. How can a technique be a life philosophy!

Furthermore, Traditional NLP just models people's body, mind and their relationship. It lacks the Spirit and Soul elements. It can't be a good philosophy of Life.

Though it can't be a good philosophy of Life, but it can be a philosophy of living. When we can use this technique to model our and others' body, mind and their relationship, we can know how to live better.

But if we can step a bit more "meta", we might be able to use the techique to model the Spirit and Soul Elements. Then, this is no more Traditional NLP. In these few years, I am thinking and researching how we can model these extra elements.


NLP: Definition and Scope of NLP


There are always misunderstanding about NLP. Here are some of my opinions:

1. If I can just give only one definition for NLP, I will say: NLP is the modeling of how people thinks.

2. Scope of NLP can include anything about thinking. NLP is just the technique to model people's thinking. Therefore, we can model conscious mind, subconscious mind, unconscious mind and instincts.

We can model Logical Thinking, Emotional Thinking, Volitional Thinking, Responsive Thinking and Conceptual Thinking. We can model beliefs, values, rules, identities and systems. We can also model people's body, mind and their relationship.


Friday, September 08, 2006

Learning from Life #81 - #85


Another issue of my Learning from Life Series:

81. The more I "know", the less I learn.

82. We are always doing our best. But if it is still not good enough, we need a better way.

83. Getting old is compulsory, but getting wise is not!

84. We are always evolving. But some animal evolve to extinction!

85. We all want to help others, but we can use the wrong ways!


Friday, September 01, 2006

My Birthday Wish


A few days later is my birthday!

My career purpose is to help more people to help more people to see more, in return, I can earn my living.

I devoted most of my time in the past few years accomplishing my purpose. But it is still far from being accomplished.

My birthday wish is to think of a better way to achieve my purpose. There must be a better way. I am sure that I will find a better way before my next birthday!