Monday, July 30, 2007

Concepts 101 Part 4: Over-Responding

Hi,

This is Part 4 of our Concepts 101 Series.

When something wrong happened, I get used to Over-Respond. Don't misunderstand me, I am not talking about Over-Reacting. Responding is actions after thinking through while Reacting is animal-like reflex action.

Over-Responding is doing more than what you think is needed. This ensures things are being properly handled. There can be a waste of time & effort in Over-Responding. However, people might expect more or differently from you. We can also under-estimate the effects of what had happened. Over-Responding lowers such risk.

When something bad happened, we want to reduce the adverse effects and to prevent them in the future. Under-Responding and/or Over-Reacting make the above impossible. It is too difficult to strike the right-balanced response. It is usually either Over or Under. You will be better off to be over.

Over-Responding is not contradictory to my another concepts, Minimalism. I will talk about that in more depth in Part 5 of our series.

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Hypnosis: Subtle Leading Suggestions

Hi,

We do not use leading suggestions in hypnotherapy to prevent potential dangers. If you want more information about Leading Suggestions, go here for another article.

There are some leading suggestions, which are very subtle. You even are not aware of them when you use them.

For example: When the clients in waking or hypnotic state telling you that "I am tired" and "I do not want to do my job". If you paraphrase it as "You are tired and so you do not want to do your job", then this becomes leading.

The word "so" creates a relationship between the 2 pieces of information. Such relationship is not mentioned by the client though the 2 pieces of information are. You are leading him/her into believing in something he/she might not believe before.

This can create complication which might make the process difficult or create side effects you never expected.

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

Friday, July 27, 2007

Hypnosis: 行銷暗藏催眠術

轉載: 明報
日期: 2005年11月15日
文: 薛偉傑

對於不了解的人,催眠常予人神秘的感覺。其實,催眠近年在商業上的應用之廣,已涵蓋了廣告、游說、減壓、目標設定、消除負面信念或行為等,值得大家對這門學問有更深的了解。

引導受眾分析 直達潛意識

「你可能唔知道,買呢樣對你屋企人係幾咁重要。」
「你可能諗緊,先入會一年,然後再續會。」
「你想唔想睇下,自己上呢件衫之後煥然一新的外表﹖」
「我唔會叫你而家就即刻買,呢個係你決定。」

類似上述的說話,大家是否有似曾相識之感﹖事實上,如果讀者比較多和銷售人員打交道(包括購物),或者比較留意一些廣告的語法,對於這類說話應不會陌生。

聖雅各福群會延續教育中心潛意識溝通學課程導師陶兆輝指出,上述幾句說話其實都是根據一定的原則來設計,令聆聽者不其然將他的注意力集中在後半部分,以達到成功說服聆聽者的目的。

指示隱沒字裏行間屬最高境界

「前半部分的作用是令意識忙於分析,無暇審查後半部分。於是,後半部分便有較大機會越過意識,直達對方的潛意識。」陶兆輝解釋說。

由於潛意識內的信念遠較意識內的信念為強,所以成功說服對方的機會便大得多。「因此,兩部分的次序絕不能掉轉。」

陶兆輝表示,所謂催眠,其實就是一種跟潛意識溝通的方法。而催眠的應用,就是將一些正面和積極的指示,放進潛意識中﹔又或者從潛意識移除一些負面和消極的指示或信息。

而上述的催眠語法,就可在人們清醒的狀態下應用(毋須真的將對方催眠),這就有如一些出色的電視廣告那樣。

陶兆輝認為,運用催眠語法的最高境界是,連指示也盡量隱沒於字裏行間中,令聆聽者一點也不覺得受到指示。

舉例說,銷售員可以向客戶說﹕「我阿爸曾經同我講過,一定唔可以買最平。」表面上,銷售員只是回憶他父親對他的教誨,並非對客戶有所指示,但實際上這話卻是說給客戶聽。

此外,用不同的說法重複同一個信息,也可大大加強說服力(一些出色的廣告也是如此)。

「所以,被公認為催眠語法大師的Milton Erickson自己也說﹕『千萬不要下決定,直至你完全明白(對方的說話)為止。』」陶兆輝說。

Personal Development: Seniorology

Hi,

Why someone can be in senior position? There must be reasons.

Many years ago, I modelled many people in very senior positions in organizations. I discovered 10 essential elements. I talked about 5 of them in today's Systemic Business Explorer Program.

Here are the first 5 Elements of Seniorology:

1. Using Concepts. Not just focusing on Procedures and Methods. Understanding concepts of business creates your own flexibility.

2. Dare to Face the Void. No one is going to tell you what to do up there. You need to find it.

3. Seeing More. Willing and eager to see more.

4. Capability of either to Stabilize, Protect, Attack or Care. If you have none, who needs you? If you have all, congratuation!

5. Using Others' Intelligence. Not just their physical efforts.

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

Hypnosis: 有效催眠暗示的三大元素 3 Elements of Effective Hypnotic Suggestions

Hi,


催眠是關於實現改變,有效的催眠暗示,是帶出受者想要的改變的關鍵。

要設計有效的暗示,我們首先要明白為什麼我們不改變,即使我們知道,那個改變是對我們是好的,但我們常常仍是不去改變。我們想要戒除某些習慣、我們想減輕過多的體重、我們想更能在人前輕鬆發言、我們想有更大的自信心、又或我們想變得更好,所有這些全都是好事,但為什麼我們不改變呢?分析其中,我們可發現 3 個主要的原因

1. 我們不知道該改什麼
2. 我們不知道為什麼要改
3. 我們不知道如何改

第一個是我們的目標或目的,第二個是我們改進的動機動力,第三個則是方法;如果我們不知道任何一個(或全部),我們是不會改變。

有效的暗示,是為了照顧上述全部三個的。

1. 目標構成了主要暗示的第一部分。
2. 動機主要暗示的第二部分。
3. 方法就是我們的支持暗示

舉例來說:

主要暗示:你會係眾人面前輕鬆咁講野,因為你可以更受歡迎。

支持暗示
時間: 當你開會的時候,你只要稍一定神,你就能夠講到你想的說話。
人物: 當你面對好多人個時,你能夠保持鎮定。
地點: 當你踏入會議室時,你發現自己全身都充滿信心。
特質: 你逐漸成為一個相信自己能夠做到的人。
特質: 你知道自己好瞭解有關自己的工作的知識。


小弟英文原稿

Hypnosis is about bringing about changes. Effective suggestions is one of the keys in bringing out the changes clients want.

To formulate effective suggestions, we must first understand why we do not change, even we know that the change is good to us. We want to quit this and that, we want to lose some weight, we want to speak in front of people, we want more confidence, we want to get better. All these are great things, but why we do not change? There can be 3 major reasons:

1. We do not know what to change!
2. We do not know why change!
3. We do not know how to change!

The first one is our goal or target. The second is our motivation and the third is the method. If we do not know either (or all) of these, we will not change.

Effective suggestion caters for all three's.

1. The Goal makes up the first part of the Main Suggestion (主要暗示).
2. The Motivation is the second part of the Main Suggestion (主要暗示).
3. The Methods are all of the Supporting Suggestions (支持暗示).

For example:

Main Suggestion (主要暗示): 你會係眾人面前輕鬆咁講野, 因為你可以更受歡迎.
Supporting Suggestions (支持暗示):
時間: 當你開會的時候, 你只要稍一定神, 你就能夠講到你想的說話.
人物: 當你面對好多人個時, 你能夠保持鎮定.
地點: 當你踏入會議室時, 你發現自己全身都充滿信心.
特質: 你逐漸成為一個相信自己能夠做到的人.
特質: 你知道自己好瞭解有關自己的工作的知識.

Hoping this can help you understanding more about Effective Hypnotic Suggestions.

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Top 5 Tips: 我的職業秘訣:如何在裁員期間保護你自己

我的職業秘訣:如何在裁員期間保護你自己

公司的縮小化在今天(本文章寫於2003年)依然時有聽聞,很多人會受到損害,在這兒是一些為了在這樣“危險的”時期保護你自己的秘訣。

1. 增加你的可見度,自願出任一些能顯示你的才能的工作,你可以通過加入各種委員會或者加入一些特別的工作項目。

2. 留意謠言,但不要與人討論你的見解。

3. 支持你的上司,幫助他去控制支出,及宣傳你的部門及他的優異成績。

4. 最大化你的聯系來擴展你的人際網絡:令公司的秘書們和人力資源部門同事成為你的『朋友』。

5. 設定你自己的生產力指標並超過它們,知會你的老板你的目標和給你自己完成它們的最終期限。


Article Written in: 2003

Keith
Explore. Exceed & Excel

How to Listen?

Hi,

No matter we are doing coaching, hypnotherapy, facilitation, managing or helping others, we need to listen.

There are so many books written on how to listen. There are so many listening skills out there. But do we need any of these skills?

The only way to listen is - Just Listen! Do nothing else, just listen to others. Then you can listen to far lots more information!

In listening, we are doing so many things like judging (what others said), planning (what to say next) and/or wondering around (where to lunch after listening to this boring guy), we are just not really listening.

Listening do not need any technique. Listening skills are B.S.. We have 2 ears and we are already given all the power of listening. It is just about whether we are listening or not!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

Our 2nd Years' Birthday

Hi,

I started to write blog in July 2005. We are 2 years' old now!

In the past 2 years, I have written 295 articles. I am planning to write even more articles to share my ideas with you all in the coming future.

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Learning from Life #131 - #135

Hi,

This is another edition of Learning from Life.

131. Sometimes we have to accept what is, is!

132. Everybody has wisdom.

133. The more you want to do, the less get done!

134. Some people will take advantage of you, but most will not.

135. Sometimes your greatest strength and your biggest weakness can be the same thing!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

Top 5 Tips: Top 5 Guiding Principles to Live my Life

Hi,

Some people live a easier life than others. One of the reasons is that they have clear guiding principles for themselves. These guiding principles help them to decide and to choose easier and faster. Here are my top 5 guiding principles to live my life. I wish these can inspire you to design your own.

1. I do my best at all time, even though the results are not best.

2. Build reserve of anything that might be useful in the future.

3. Use the best words I can whenever I speak or write.

4. Choose the path of least resistance.

5. Don't wait for the future. Perfect the present.

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

Top 5 Tips: Top 5 Ways to Become More Humorous

Hi,

Humor dilutes any difficulty with people. Humor also lubricates relationships and communication. Being humorous, even during hard times, indirectly shows others that you are in control. But it seems to be very difficult to be humorous. Here are my top 5 ways to become more humorous:

1. Don't be Funny. Being funny and being humorous is very different. It will be funny enough if you try to be funny!

2. Look Around Outside. There are lots of humorous things right outside. Promise yourself to discover at least one thing humorous everyday. You are sharpening your eyes for humors and you will then become humorous.

3. Create Crazy Reasons for Things Happening. There must be a reason behind everything. But I don't want that "right" answer. Think of something mad!

4. Play with Your Pains. Pains make us suffering if you resist them and decided not to play with them. Have fun with your pains.

5. Laugh at Yourself. If you are confident enough, you are able to laugh at yourself without hurting. People get used to be laughed at but seldom seeing people laughing at oneself.

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

Top 5 Tips: Top 5 Ways to Learn Faster in Class

Hi,

Everyone needs to learn. Attending classes, especially good classes are shortcuts to learning. Good teachers and trainers share their knowledge they gained through years of experience.
You simply obtain them in hours.

Great teaching doesn't mean great learning. Teaching is their job and learning is yours. We need to learn to learn. Here are my top 5 ways to learn most in class:

1. Set Learning Objective. Tell yourself your objectives of attending a class before even enrolling. What you want from the course? What can be different after you gain the knowledge?

2. Ask Questions. Ask questions to clarify. Ask questions to understand. But not asking a question to show off your knowledge. Even you successful accomplish that, you gain nothing. This is just a waste of time. Ask relevant questions to show your respect to others. Don't waste others' time. Do not feel fearful or embarrass to ask questions. A good teacher likes and appreciates questions.

3. Express Your Points. This helps others' to understand better. Others might be encouraged to do the same to help your learning. But always express relevant points!

4. Listen. Listen for the meaning of the points offered by your teachers. Don't assume anything. The points might be similar to something you heard before, but it might not be the same points.

5. Apply the Knowledge. Use what you learn as soon as possible, or it will simply go away.

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

Top 5 Tips: Top 5 Basic Guidelines to Live a Life

Hi,

If we have an effective & efficient Personal Operating System to live our lives, we make it easier for us. I am going to present New and Free 8-hours program, Personal Operating System in August this year. I will announce how to enroll later in this newsletter. Let's share with you a very, very small portion of my Personal Operating System. Here are my 5 basic guidelines to live our lives easier.

1. Know the Basics. Learn the basics. Then you can't learn until you work through it.

2. Use the Right Tools. Different tasks require different tools. Find the right tools. Then select the best one you can afford. It will save you time and effort. It can take away most of the Frustrations.

3. Be a Visionary. See what can be possible for the future. Macroscopically, you would see the possible future of yourself and what you expect. Microscopically, you could see the possible outcomes of a task, a project or a product. One can't be creative, even he/she has the best creative skills, if he/she can't see the possibilities!

4. Input the Right Input. Right Input might not necessarily be Good Inputs. Different processes require different inputs. Wrong inputs, wrong results!

5. Start. Preparation is important. Planning is important, too. But Preparation and planning is not doing! They won't give you any result. Plan, prepare and start doing!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

Top 5 Tips: Top 5 Ways to Unstuck a Very Stuck Problem

Hi,

Sometimes we might become very stuck. What we are facing can be a very difficult problem or situation. Here are my top 5 ways to unstuck a really stuck situation.

1. Lighten Your Burden: Who says that problems must be solved. Tell yourself that some problems are not solvable or some problems are better left them unsolved.

2. Stop Doing whatever You are Doing. If it is useful, it is already useful. Continuing useless methods just add more frustration. Then you are further stuck.

3. Tell Someone about Your Problem. When you describe your problem to someone else, you are organizing your thoughts. This helps.

4. Play. Treat this as a game. If you win, you win. If you lose, you just lose a game. This can “light” up your mind!

5. Seek Advises. Not just one advise, seek at least several. Don't just believe in them. Get some new insights from others' solutions. Then work out your own.

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

Top 5 Tips: Top 5 Things a Coach can Help his/her Clients

Hi,

No matter you are a business coach or personal coach, there are some best things you can help your clients to gain a better life or business. You can do the same to yourself, your friends or your family, even you are not a coach! Here my Top 5 Things a coach can help his/her clients:

1. See Differently. We all have a lot of assumptions. A coach helps others to check their assumptions. Wrong assumptions lead to wrong conclusions! Right conclusion leads to right actions.

2. See More. We get used to see things from a single habitual point of view. Then we can never be creative. A coach introduces new points of view to others so that we can see more by themselves.

3. Become Sensitized. Being sensitized is not being sensitive. We are addicted and become fairly dumb to our normal daily lives. A coach talks to his/her clients to identify anything "strange". Our feedbacks can challenge our clients' usual perceptions. When we are sensitized, we can change quickly.

4. Become Effective. A coach does not just push clients for actions. We help our clients logically analyzing the right things to do. Being effective is not being efficient. Being effective is doing the right things, not just doing things quickly.

5. Understand Themselves. We seldom ask ourselves good questions about our own selves. We always try to understand others, but not ourselves. A coach ask questions, a lot of good questions about his/her clients. When we understand ourselves, everything we do become sensible!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

My Point of View: 如果我有權改革教育…

Hi,

向來我對從事教育工作的朋友,均表兩分敬重,沒有他們的努力,我們能有未來嗎?

過去多年,香港的教育改革不斷,可惜成果未算突出,而且反對聲音不斷,我相信主事教育改革的官員立心是好的,但究竟問題在那裡呢?

我不是教育工作者,沒有資格能力批評,但作為只是看見多年來教育改革下,官員辛苦、老師辛苦、同學辛苦、家長辛苦的一個過來人,稍為胡言亂語而矣!

我們的教育制度,可能有很多流弊,故教育當局不停的製定各式各樣的方案,每次的新方案都好像在『加的多、減的少』,無論是什麼(人工福利除外),『加的多、減的少』的長期結果就是大家也在辛苦。

相信大家也明白,教育的目的在於求知識,開發智慧,而不是強記那些反正很快也會忘得一干二淨的課本資料,通識課確是好主意,它能令同學自求知識,智慧並由此而生,但在『加的多、減的少』的大前提下,老師那有時間準備,同學那有時間研究討論!

如果我有權改革教育,我一定會更進一步,把每一科目也化成通識課,蝴蝶的生長過程與作為在香港的中國人有什麼關係?牛頓三大力學法則如何能增加就業機會?如何運用『木蘭辭』來推動在公共交通工具上應有的公民意識?

每位老師也是通識課老師,每節也是通識課,我們的同學怎能不通識?

要做到如此,就必須大幅刪減課程內容,可否每學期國文只教三篇文章呢?

不是Less is More嗎?

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

Customer Service: Refund Policy

Hi,

I am discussing with John Lau of St. James about refund policy and customer service yesterday.

Our discussion is about whether a service organization should refund if the customer's refund request is not due to dissatisfaction. He has already used up the product and he just wants to get his money back. My opinion is do the refund. If you tell someone that only dissatisfaction can get the refund, he will then claim that he is not satisfy with whatever!

John said that it is quite impossible in social service organization like St. James to do it like that. I do understand his difficulties because St. James has a very strict audit control. The money they earned goes to serving the people in need!

In those commercial organizations, which operate "refund under any condition" policy, not everyone will have such kind of request. Most of us are reasonable people, particularly if we are serving a vast majority of repeated customers (熟客). We have developed a long-term relationship. Relationship is more than money.

Decision in customer service sometimes can be not easy!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

Concepts 101 Part 3: Wants

Hi,

Apart from needs, we also have "wants"!

Wants are things that we like to have. If we can't have it, it is OK. But if we do get it, we feel happy for a while. Yes, just for a while since once you have what you want, it loses it power to attract you. We either forget about it or we keep on wanting more of it. More can be attractive than less! This can be addictive. Many people wasted their efforts and time by keeping on wanting more of something!

It can be even worse if we misthink our wants as our needs. We will spend unrealistic amount of effort to get it. It is ridiculous to think that you need a 60 inches TV or a LV handbag. You want them but you do not need them!

Needs are always the number 1 form of motivation. Wants can be the second-best. If you want to increase the motivation, relate the goals with wants!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Top 5 Tips: Top 5 Self-Suggestions I used to Make Myself Healthy, Physically & Mentally

Hi,

I use self-hypnosis everyday to train my mind and remind myself of what I really want. It takes me only 5 minutes a day. No matter it really works or not, it is just 5 minutes!

You do not need to know Self-Hypnosis to make use of these suggestions. You can use them as affirmations. Just talk to yourself anytime you want. Or even better, talk to yourself just before you sleep and after you wake up.

1. Everyday, in every way, I become better and better.
每一日,每一方面,我都變得越來越好

2. I can find more easier and better ways in any situation.
任何情況,我都能夠搵到更多更易更好的方法

3. My mind is open and I can see any possibility.
我的思想保持開放,我能夠看到任何可能性

4. I feel relaxed and I feel good. 我感覺很放鬆,我心情很愉快

5. I can treat myself better and better. 我能夠對自己越來越好

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

Concepts 101: Needs

Hi,

This is Part 2 of the Concepts 101 Series. I am going to write all the 101 concepts that I believe and live.

Needs give us the biggest motivation. Needs are things that we must have to survive. There are some common basic needs, like food and air. However, different people are having different other needs because different people has different definitions of survival.

If you cannot satisfy your needs, you find yourself unhappy. We will do whatever to meet our needs.

Knowing our need is our first step to happiness. If we are clear about our needs, we can focus our energy to get them. Most of us are wasting time, effort and money to chase after something, which is not our needs.

If you want a higher motivation, make it related to your needs. If this is something we need, that is, must-have, not nice-to-have, we have the drive.

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
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