Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Criticizing Others Part 2

Hi,

People Criticizes.

This is bad and unproductive to anybody. But nearly everybody does it. (of course, including me)

But why does people critcize?

I am not a psychologist, I don't know the exact answer. But I have modelled myself and here is my own logics for criticizing others.

When someone is better than me, I feel being threatened. Even though he does nothing harming me, I still feel being threatened. (This is a feeling, it can be not logical)

So, I start to criticize him/her. This makes me feeling that he/she is not that good. This also makes me feeling that those others who hear my criticism will also think that he/she is not that good. This is a more important part of criticizing. When I feel that others also find someone is better, they might then look down upon me. He/she is good, then I must be bad!

I will not criticize in front of this person. He/she might attack back. He/she is better than me and I might just not be able to handle his/her attacking back. It is safer to do it behind him/her.

It seems that I just can't prevent this. This is a typical "Flight or Fight Response" when facing "Dangers". I do it both. I flight to the back of others and then fight them. Or you can call this "Defence by Attacking at the Back". (i.e. 主動從後襲擊) This is a survival mechanism! This is our basic instinct.

I am glad to discover my own strategy of criticizing. I can do nothing if I don't know my strategy. But I can always adjust it when I understand it.

Keith
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